March 12, 2010 | religion, weird news

Call him the non-stick Nazarene.

The Telegraph reported that Toby Elles, a bank cashier, nearly checked out when he “fell asleep cooking some bacon” and awoke, startled to find that cooked into the skillet was non other than the pan-seared prophet himself.

“My housemates and I had a few beers earlier in the evening [Editors' note: this should come as no surprise to anyone] and I thought I would snack before going to bed and as it was cooking I decided to take a rest on the couch. When I woke up about an hour later the room was full of smoke.”

That the Savior would be rendered in bacon fat  is in keeping with his artery-clogging culinary tour which has included pancakes, fish sticks, Pizza Hut pasta, pierogis and Kit Kat bars. Considering his name is so often uttered in restaurant kitchens (albeit with the modifying gerund in between that starts with ‘F’ and ends in ‘G’) perhaps it’s not suprising that he’s been made to order.   

Elles, who is considering making a glass case for his find, considers it a miracle and that the image is uneqivocally JC, however we’re not so sure (see pic below).

The crusty likeness could also easily be South American Marxist revolutionary and noted t-shirt Che Guevara and not just because it suits the name, but 70s-era Eagles guitarist Glenn Frey.

Also, a case could be made for Daniel Day Lewis as Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York, WWE wrestler Al Snow, possibly Dennis Hopper in Easy Rider and at one time or another, all members of the Allman Brothers Band except the black guy.

March 11, 2010 | Mad Science

In the 90s, in a fad that had a shelf life of your average cheese curd, so-called ‘oxygen bars’ dotted the landscape, offering patrons a way to get light-headed that was ostenibly healthier than the usual elbow-tilting self-pitying milieu of the local tavern.

This was, of course, until killjoys pointed out that oxygen is already carried optimally through the bloodstream and that unless you’re piggybacking a Sherpa or a morbidly obese football player winded after a sprint to the Gatorade, you’re unlikely to benefit from sucking face with O2.
 
Worse, breathing oxygen through a plastic hose was found to be actually  harmful, and not just aesthetically-speaking. Of course, this didn’t stop folks like Woody Harrelson (featured in our list of 911 Nutcases) from opening such an establishment.

The fad has mostly faded along with the plaid shirts purchased for $85 dollars during that decade.
 
Now, oxygen’s effects are being revisited, although with a different conduit than something rammed up your nostrils: the drink itself. It’s possible that when 90s nostalgia invariably breaks, shuttered oxygen bars may make a triumphant return, although not with oxygen concentrators, but through the actual content of the drinks.

Scientists in Korea have developed more oxygenated alcohol and have found that the effects of a hangover—usually that one facet of drinking that prevents most people from turning into full-blown alcoholics—can be diminished. According to reports, “alcohol was processed significantly quicker with drinks that had a higher oxygen content”, and that this sobering effect was in addition to mitigating the effects of a hangover. Of course, one thing not taken into account was the Bud Lite Effect—the need to pound 12 of these impotent potables instead of 6 beers of normal strength in order to get the same buzz not to mention just how quickly brewers/distillers would adopt this into their production process.

March 9, 2010 | Pics

For those with any doubts as to the potency of the capital of the United Arab Emirates comes this press release from the exceedingly potent folks of the Municipality of Abu Dhabi.

Your attendance? It is pleasing them.