Shark Attacks Reported

June 15, 2012 | Weird News

Could there be a long-awaited sequel to the Summer of the Shark? (Potentially better bang for the entertainment buck that than the definitive film adaptation of The Love Boat – perhaps these can be combined? What do you mean James Cameron is too busy?)

The September 11th attacks put an end to all things finny and got journalists out of their flip flops, but with the current news cycle flat-line – coverage Shark friend Cultural Snow dubbed “gibbering sub-Kardashians falling out of limos and bikinis” – perhaps conditions are just right.

Chris Brown being clocked silly with a beer bottle in a bar fight means something’s gotta give.

Shark Attacks

News reports out of Australia, anthropomorphically describe an “angry” 10-foot mako “biting furiously on a boat propeller for 10 to 15 minutes” (He was merely a bit peckish. Conflicting reports said he was smugly self-satisfied). Luckily, no one was injured. As a point of interest, Australia is a world beater when it comes to populating youth hostels with acoustic guitars, and shark fatalities. Of course we chide. Australia is also the leading market for sales of our Shark book).

Myrtle Beach South Carolina reported four bites – none of them fatal. Injuries were sustained to the feet and legs and beaches were shut down. One local expert said “Their senses simply don’t allow them to distinguish between a human limb and a fish.”

Sharks and Humans

Speaking of blurred lines, recent reports suggest that a distant human ancestor had a shark head. Before you look to some of the voracious eaters in your family tree, it should be pointed out that this is the Paleozoic period – 300 million years ago – the earliest vertebrates with jaws.

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  1. Biting furiously on a boat propeller? Sharks are bad, but boat propellers are made of metal. It seems to me the shark would lose a fight with a propeller.

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