Posts Tagged ‘US’
America Votes – The 2012 Election
November 6, 2012 | Pics
Slinging a big bag of Christmas hope. Photo by C.Lombardo. All rights reserved
The 2012 Election is here:
The Shark Guys urge our American friends to get out there, vote early and vote often.
We don’t endorse either political candidate, but hope that turn-out is high and that it at least comes down to the wire.
We’ll be watching with cold ones and microwavable popcorn and playing the Wolf Blitzer drinking game: basically, take a swig every time that hacky newsman looks befuddled. Wastrel territory basically.
We’ll be paying close attention to those Swing States in particular – that is, states that don’t overwhelmingly support one candidate or the other, not ones that have adopted resolutions to make tacky 80s dance crazes their official moves.
2.6 billion dollars well spent, all things considered. In Canada, we don’t have an elected senate, have one-tenth the number of people, have more people as a percentage who live in big cities (therefore making an election campaign with the prime minister, more like a crappy rock band hitting the road just as the concert promoter pulls the plug due to lack of interest) and our recent election still set us back 70 million or so.
According to the New York Times, Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, cast his vote Tuesday morning near his home in Belmont, Mass. When a reporter asked who he voted for, Mr. Romney replied, “I think you know”, instead of the preferable double thumb-pointer, “this Mor-Man” or the even better “Your worst nightmare. Now THAT’s news that’s fit to print” with a withering stare.
The 2012 Election. Let the best man win.
Honoring the 4th of July
July 4, 2012 | Reviews
I cannot tell a lie. I am very intoxicated
4th of July is here, that federal holiday that honors the adoption of the Declaration of Independence, that legal equivalent of getting your own bachelor pad – first celebrated in 1777 with a 13-gun salute (aimed hopefully far enough away from anyone having a barbecue).
It’s a time to relax and rejoice in the fact that there’s one fewer day in the workweek, a time to, as George Washington put it “Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism” by drinking very patriotic beer.
In our Top Patriot Gifts list, for example, we looked at the intensely patriotic Stars and Stripes Nunchucks:As the saying goes, “It’s better to have some chucks than nun-chucks at all”.
If you party the way you should be partying on Independence Day - like it’s 1799 and your rum rations have been upped – chances are the neighbors are going to get upset.
Raising a ruckus and getting all the neighborhood dogs howling in unison is what freedom and liberty is all about. The perfect gift for the patriotic partier who lives in a bad neighborhood, these slick-looking nun-chucks will most certainly club the nearest private security guard investigating a disturbance into quick submission.
They have “don’t tread on me” written all over them and if you’re using them in connection with those Stand-your-Ground statutes, the presiding judge will let you rap them on his desk in lieu of a gavel.
It is recommended when rapping someone across the knees with these babies that you say something along the lines of “And that, I’ll have you know, came from the good ole’ U, S, of A”.
We’ve also looked at songs honoring each of the US States. (California, for example, has California Dreamin’, Californication, California Stars and California Love to name a few).
As we put it there, most songwriters will at some point pen an ode to the place that gave them the early inspiration to pursue a career in music — i.e. the taunts of jocks or the realization that guys who can play guitar stand a better chance of meeting women than even the most advanced Dungeons and Dragons master
Have fun, may you avoid the dangers of propane barbecues and party blowers to the eye in perpetuity. It’s what the Founding Fathers would have wanted.
