Living Well Health Master Review
February 10, 2010 | Reviews
Half cut-rate therapist and matchmaker (if you consider the pairing by paternity test a mom and her would-be flight risk of a dead-beat dad matchmaking), Montel amazingly, received a Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Talk Show Host.
Of course, during the 90s, anyone who even attempted to shy away from dueling monozygotic dwarfs and men who banged a sitter while mom was battling chemo, was thusly awarded (See Oprah, whose lowly origins as a peddler of exploitative crapola seem to have been forgotten with her up with people, up with Body Mass Index MO)
With days counseling pregnant teens a distant memory, Montel’s current paying gig is one that has him wowing the insomniac set as an infomercial pitchman for the Living Well Healthmaster, a digital emulsifying device that is by any other name, a blender.
The Healthmaster is a marvel that can crush more ice than a Zamboni at a Monster Truck rally, and, as it’s pointed out, with 2 horsepower of centrifugal force, is more like an outboard motor (this is something to keep in mind if you’re trolling through a margarita instead of a swamp)
Montel has asked the manufacturers of this Health Master (which can ‘power a small boat’) to “knock off one easy payment if you call now”:
Montel: “Can you knock a payment off one of the 5 easy payments?
Manufacturer of the Living Well Healthmaster: “Listen buddy, we determine the price point thank you very much.”
The device, which makes “stealth veggies”, (vegetables that interfere with radar technology?) is no doubt deserving of this military comparison as it can also “decimate chunks of solid concrete”, handy if you’ve got some government stimulus money kicking around for road repair.
“I’ve tried every pill, diet and exercise program and I thank Montel!”
We wonder if this person has donned tights and kicked their dignity away to Turbo Jam?
The digital emulsifying device “literally pulverizes fruits, legumes and leafy vegetables” and is specifically designed for people “who would never eat a plate of vegetables”, which seems like the target demographic is one which is a good decade away from being able to legally own a credit card.