Christmas Gift Returns

December 27, 2012 | Religion

The holidays have passed and as the New York Times put it, “that bow-tied anticipation of Christmas …inevitably gives way to unwrapped resignation of its less heralded successor, Dec. 26″ – the first day for Christmas gift returns for those whose poker faces showed traces of a crack when a receipt was spotted.

Of course, the Bête noire for gifts from a male perspective, is clothing – witness the item above (a shirt), which for some reason needs to be disposed of like medical waste and casts “yellow shadows” (sic). According to Sky News, Britons spent about £2.1bn on unwanted Christmas presents this year, with clothing and ornaments topping the list of unwelcome items. (Please see our list of especially unwelcome ornaments, which would test all but the closest of friendships if left under the tree).

The best gifts of course, are checks (those that don’t bounce – there is no way to broach that subject without stepping on toes and getting what’s yours) and cash, which has thankfully been re-branded as the more socially acceptable gift card.

And the only type of gift that can compete with either, is big ticket electronics. Experts suggest returning these back to the store ASAP as purchasers are typically only granted 15 days from the time of purchase, a narrow window indeed in terms of potentially hustling a flat-screen out the back of a van.

The gift that keeps on giving, if you’ll permit the indulgence, is the author royalty check. Two gifts that would never be returned are the two stellar, critically acclaimed humor books penned by The Shark Guys. All the best to everyone in 2013.