Third-Hand Smoke? Beware the Dangers of Fourth-hand Smoke
January 12, 2009 | Mad Science
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Attention Health Editors:
The Dangers of Fourth-hand Smoke
Toronto Jan. 12 / TMS Group on behalf of The Institute for Health, Safety, General Well-Being and Overall Contentment (the “IHSGWOC”) is recognizing the deleterious, pernicious, inimical, pestiferous and just downright bad ‘third-hand smoke’, the contamination that ‘lingers’ (much like an autograph hound outside the undersized dressing room of a midwest casino magician) after a cigarette is extinguished.
A recent study was the first to document such dangers, which should not, in the view of those currently tapping their feet restlessly under the editorial boardroom table at the IHSGWOC, overshadow the very real and current and very sinister and entirely corrupting force that is fourth-hand smoke.
You may have heard of third-hand smoke, but what is fourth-hand smoke?
A document which failed to address this query would fail entirely as a press release, or at least one which promises a thorough annotation of such a term, especially given that it’s present in the very title of this document—so here it is.
Well, fourth-hand smoke is the presence in the family home, domicile or dwelling place (this includes motor vehicles some of which retain mobility) of unopened, un-smoked cigarettes contained in a pack, or individual cigarettes bought from less than reputable corner stores that are contained in re-sealable Ziploc bags.
These ‘fourth-hand’ or un-smoked, packaged or un-packaged cigarettes are clearly visible to each and every person living in, or visiting, such a household as described above (and when they aren’t clearly visible, cartons can be tripped over). In the case of human infants, their eyes can focus, albeit briefly, on objects at about 3-4 months of age, and especially objects with an end meant to be lit (often times dangerously off a gas range stove) while the other end is sucked.
Clearly then, and this will become clearer once the smoke has cleared, literally and figuratively, the dangers posed by un-smoked, packaged, or un-packaged, bagged cigarettes are numerous to kids, adults, quasi-adults, man-children and the less than gifted, insofar as they represent a strong temptation to smoke.
There’s more though, as indicated by the lack of a sigil preceding this paragraph which, like all other paragraphs before it, preceded this one: The dangers of ‘fourth-hand smoke’ on family pets, who may at any point, say, if they aren’t properly fed, decide to gnaw on an un-smoked cigarette which is left lying about (what we like to call, ‘future fire starters).
The IHSGWOC is therefore united in three basic principles other than the desire for a more acronym-friendly name:
1. Fourth Hand Smoke is, like that mediocre Harrison Ford vehicle, a ‘clear and present danger’.
2. Fourth Hand Smoke invariably leads to first-hand smoke, second-hand smoke, and then, not surprisingly, third-hand smoke, which is frankly, confusing.
3. Fourth Hand Smoke is just plain bad.
IHSGWOC
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There will be a fifth and sixth hand smoke scare eventually. Whatever it takes to make smokers evillll.
[...] Consumed with their self-righteous zeal they’ve now concocted a new scam: Third Hand Smoke. . Third-Hand Smoke? Beware the Dangers of Fourth-hand Smoke 12 / TMS Group on behalf of The Institute for Health, Safety, General Well-Being and Overall [...]
that is about the dumbest thing I have ever read I’m gonna light another just because of this retardedness
Oh, the insanity….it is so stupid, it makes me sick…oh yeah, sicker than first hand smoke!!!!!!! (from a 40 years smoker)
This is a good example of how screwed up some people are getting. These are probably the same people that will not drink anything but bottled water. It doesn’t matter that the chemicals from the plastic bottle will kill you!
These people just keep on going. When they were successful in getting smokers thrown outdoors in some places, I predicted that in not too much time, they’d be whining about people smoking OUTSIDE and I was right–they are, and smoe places even have laws against it. It’s time these fnatics were laughed into obscurity.
Well, I guess fifth-hand smoke must be having ever been to the state of Kentucky. LOL! Very funny piece.
But seriously, this whole third-hand smoke thing is getting old. It’s junk science plain and simple. There is no hard evidence of any real harm from it. And even the dangers of second-hand smoke have been grossly exaggerated. Remember, it’s the dose that makes the poison.
The Myth of Second Hand Smoke (ETS)
http://yourdoctorsorders.com/2009/01/the-myth-of-second-hand-smoke/comment-page-3/#comment-236
BS Alert: The ‘third-hand smoke’ hoax
The thirdhand smoke scam
http://velvetgloveironfist.blogspot.com/2010/02/thirdhand-smoke-scam.html
4th hand smoke is contained in smokers farts. You have heard the phrase blowin smoke or, blow it out your ass. It refers to 4th hand smoke. Those brown streaks in your underwear are from 4th hand smoke. The darker they are the more potent and chemical laden they are. There is no safe level of 4th hand smoke. A few whiffs will water your eyes and gag you Never stand behind a smoker. I believe there has been research and on utube I watched some 4th hand smoke become visible using an infrared camera. It may be called “visible fart” 4th hand smoke can linger on uranus for a long time Good day
LOL. These antismokers are like the bar ax-ers. Soon to be forgotten. I remembered Lizzie Borden, but I think the Enquiring Hollywood minds decided to make an ABC “Movie of the Week” about her, otherwise she would have been long forgotten, save for a boring rainy Saturday afternoon watching the telly on some “B” channel before the fun folks showed up for the ADULT card party at the house where they could forget about all the smoking ban nonsense and carry on with adult nightlife as usual, where smokers and nonsmokers congregate together and don’t define people concerning their smoking or non-smoking choices.
This article is probably the most full of shit piece of literature i have ever read. Quit smoking and go vape on something!!
The 4th Hand S**t is found mostly in inner-space, like, for instance; empty elevators . . . And this is there from smokers who were there before you, but are now long gone . . . Smokers are still allowed to use our space; and they still believe that they are above humans, for some reason. I don’t think that it’s the smoke (like nicotine) but it’s the neuro-recepters in the brain that makes them become attached to the S**t. Probably. Hence, they are “already sick”; but they haven’t even burned anything just yet.