Worst City Names
August 15, 2012 | Lists
You never hear from some cities unless a resident’s injured honing aerial wrestling maneuvers on a mattress at the town dump or a municipal property assessment’s results are negated by a meth lab blowing to kingdom come.
Other times, a body’s discovered momentarily putting some hamlet on the map, and people shake their heads and wonder how such a thing could happen in ___________(insert name here). Short answer: we’re not murderers, but it stands to reason dumping a body out in the woods where you can’t get a cellphone signal, rather than say, in a busy urban shopping center would really help flesh out a script on Bones.
Many of those forgotten places aren’t on Google Maps and are the kinds of burgs that would see an incumbent city mayor running on the campaign promise of using what’s left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and starting anew.
Worst City Names: North America
In a previous post, we risked offending the deputy reeve and possibly the comptroller of Crapo Maryland and incurring possible mind-comptroller techniques by compiling a list of the Worst City Names in North America, towns that would disappear from the popular consciousness unless a resident threatened the state governor or stole a tractor trailer for a massive police chase across state lines.
Geneology site findmypast.com polled respondents asking for their opinions as to the worst city names in the US. The results were as follows:
1. Toad Suck, Arkansas
2. Climax, Georgia
3. Boring, Oregon (pictured here and actually paired with sister city, Dull Scotland)
4. Hooker, Oklahoma
5. Assawoman, Maryland
6. Belchertown, Massachusetts
7. Roachtown, Illinois
8. Loveladies, New Jersey
9. Squabbletown, California
10. Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky
WORST CITY NAMES: UK
Not to be outdone, Shitterton in Dorset topped a poll of places with the most embarrassing names in Britain (This English Channel region has also brought us Top 10s, Scratchy Bottom and Happy Bottom).
Residents footed the bill for a giant slab of marble, pictured here, to be placed by the roadside at the town’s entrance to replace road signs, which not surprisingly, keep getting stolen. The name’s etymology is likely apocryphal, but according to the Mirror, one theory is that it originally referred to “the village on the stream that is used as an open sewer”.