February 6, 2012 | Lists

1. The pre-game show took marginally less time than it takes for a Guantanamo Bay case to go to trial. 

2. Multi NBC show song-and-dance routine did not feature Jimmy Fallon, which we’re pretty sure crushed him inside, but sets a great precedent.

3. Giants Victor Cruz recalled his life as a Cougar, presaging the half-time show.

4. A Giants player went to Cornell, which meant he was probably compelled by wealthy parents to attend classes and ideally, avoid contact sports. Player introductions should be restricted to those who earned a degree.

5.  Community Service Award given away before the coin toss. If it’s one thing you associate with NFL players,provided they have decent legal representation, it’s community service.

6. By sheer coincidence, the singing of America the Beautiful by one of the hosts of NBC’s The Voice, which, also by sheer coincidence, airs right after the game.

7. The coach of New England, Bill Bellichick, looks like a guy milling around a supermarket at 3AM looking for frozen microwavable dinners.

8. Giants have a player named Henry Hynoski, who could star in Factotum or Barfly

9. Giants receiver Victor Cruz, known for his end zone salsa moves, scores and NBC cuts to commercials to the strains of Come Dancing, the 1982 hit by the Kinks – a true salsa classic. 

10.Bend it like Beckum. New York Giants player tears ACL.

11. New England coach Belichick, replicated in practise, delays that usually occur because of the Super Bowl half time show in world’s dullest bit of NFL trivia. Our informal poll found that the majority of those asked wanted Madonna to limit her performance, ideally to occupying as little time as possible

12. Bizarre reference to “big fan-like paddles” used by Giants in practise perhaps not for steroid-addled games of gridiron ping pong.

13. Madonna performs it, but is no longer in Vogue. Host of The Voice appears, a show which, by coincidence, airs right after the game. Post performance “World Peace” message ignored by China and Russia in Syrian resolution veto

 The Shark Guys are the authors of Tastes Like Human: The Shark Guys’ Book of Bitingly Funny Lists