Top 10 Funny Yahoo Answer Questions
May 14, 2010 | Lists
After years of surreptitiously schtupping dear old dad, television has finally ceded babysitting duties to the internet. Questions that were once handled by Sesame Street and very special episodes of Blossom are now being posed in online forums.
Yahoo Answers is a Delphic Oracle, one of the countless sites on which questions are posed and answered. Some sites of this type offer a useful service. Snopes, for example, is a great place to go if you want to find out whether the email forward you just received about how, say, the US government provides a greater monthly allowance to refugees than pensioners has any truth to it or is just an attempt by some bigot with green modem lights to stir up discontent.
Basically, Yahoo Answers is Ask Reddit minus the stern tongue-lashing that keeps those with a Bill Buckner grip on the obvious from embarrassing themselves publicly. The questions and answers on Yahoo Answers make Wikipedia entries look like peer-reviewed articles in Nature. That such woefully ignorant people might be making life decisions based on things told to them in this knowledge desert is worrying indeed. It’s also thankfully quite funny, and here we point out and laugh at 10 Funny Yahoo Answer Questions.
10. Birth control kept secret from Dad.
Disturbing on many fronts. Here yet another person incapable of using an apostrophe or spelling the word “from” wants to procreate and inflict one more like her on this resource-depleted world. Also, why is mom complicit in these shenanigans with her randy daughter, and why would she, presumably a grown woman with full mental faculties and the memory of the conception and birth that led to this dumb question, not have access to this information?
Also of special interest is the so-called “best answer”, as chosen by the same people who cast their vote for American Idol but who couldn’t name what state the Big Apple is in. It is of course, abstinence!
Given what nearly happened in Times Square, we sincerely hope not, at least, not within the immediate vicinity of a large collection of bystanders. Of course, one less vegetarian is a silver-lining way of looking at things.
8. Elegantly toasted.
A food safety violation that would shutter a restaurant entirely staffed by hep C sufferers. This question that would have chef Gordon Ramsay putting in an expletive and tear-fuelled call in to the authorities.
7. Grey ice cubes
Greywater is wastewater generated from your average household activities—-laundry, dishwashing and bathing. Let’s just say that it would not be your first choice for a dry martini. Water that looks grey, would probably wilt your favorite plant and warrant a call to the slum lord.
6. Give pea-brains a chance.
How can I be like John Lennon? Well, the quickest answer to that would be by getting shot in Central Park or marrying an overbearing Asian lady.
5. What Not to Ask
Speaking of Asians…Second only to questions about the nature of What Not to Wear host Stacy London and Clinton Kelly’s obviously platonic relationship (should have NORAD test your gaydar if this isn’t obvious) is the following oddity: Is Stacy London Asian? Well, given white guys and their fondness for Asian women, if you were myopic or had a mother who took to Happy Hour during those key 9 months, you might be forgiven for thinking so.
An item that would not be brought to the menu of even the grubbiest money laundering eatery, ‘is it true that you can cook any kind of raw meat completely in the microwave if it’s in a plastic bag? The answer: No, this is only true for cats.
3. On the Road Again
Speaking of best before dates, given how lax border security once was, perhaps this isn’t such a dopey question after all.
However, post 911 you can bet your carton of Indian reservation cigarettes that Customs and Immigration will take a B’Nai Brith to Mein Kampf approach to such a document.
It should not be too hard to put a price on personal safety, unless the sandwich in question cost upwards of $100, in which case it might not be a bad idea to give it a whirl.
Here’s one dietary restriction that discount airlines would not have to worry about: Could I have an intolerance to plain water? Well, if it’s the type that made the above questioner’s ice cube tray turn grey…maybe.