10 Cover Letter Ideas

The economy is sinking quicker than the contents of an Alpine commode, so it’s become essential to make oneself stand out while on the job hunt, and not with a novelty tie (although light-heartedly poking fun at someone else’s wardrobe choices can prove fruitful during an interview), but with memorable turns of phrase in a cover letter.

It’s generally accepted that action verbs are vital in cover letters, words like ‘action’, ‘succor’ or ‘ballyhoo’. If you were to use the latter in a sentence, for example, one could say “the word ‘ballyhoo’ is a verb that could prove useful when writing a cover letter”.

Here, we’ve endeavored to offer examples of how to juice up occasionally staid cover letters with 10 Cover Letter Ideas with examples of different sectors/industries. 

Administrative Assistant:

I can type 1000 words per minute, am fluent in 5 different languages (mainly arcane island dialects), am over 6 feet tall, and I’ve been known to be able to pick the Pope out of a large group of people.

Internship:

I’m getting a bit older and I thought that before I was interred, I would intern.

It has come to my attention that you are seeking honest, gung-ho, hard-working and tough-nosed interns, able to withstand the torrent of abuse likely to be flung their way by the likes of you, so slap my second cousin and compliment her on her freckles, I’m your man.

I have heard stories of office workers peeing into morning coffee pots. Since I work from home, the thought of peeing into my own coffee pot is disgusting; however if you took me on, chances are I would, at some point, pee in your morning coffee.

Data Entry

If a lowly sycophant is what you’re looking for, I’m your guy. I sit in the background, never putting forward ideas, for fear of ridicule and cruel mockery — fears that were well grounded in previous employment stints, where they never learned my name, preferring to call me “Beanie” in reference to my java making abilities.

Restaurant Industry

While I do have absolutely no knowledge of cooking or anything even intangibly related to the subject, I do look just as unhealthy as the gluttons currently popularized on the Food Network.

My earliest recollections of food are deeply traumatizing – my mother was abusive with mashed potatoes and could often be found crouching behind a large geranium with a spoonful of the stuff ready to fire at any one of her 11 children.

Journalism

I have filed copy so blistering hot, you’d have to wear protective goggles.

There is presently a bidding war for my services. If you’d like to partake, don a flak jacket, leap into the trenches and hurl a hand grenade we’ll call a viable offer my way.

Fitness Industry

I am not completely ignorant of the personal fitness world – my cousin told me about the gay scene on Miami Beach and I have been known to write the odd, terse letter to a public prosecutor in a Mister Olympia drug trial.

I am an expert in Yogic flying, which, in case you are not familiar, is the practice of going into deep meditation, floating three feet off the ground and sending out positive vibes to bring about eventual world peace and better digestion. “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s a man flying his way to better health and peace of mind!”

New Media

I am blue. Well not outright blue, but my skin does have a bluish pallor to it that has been known to upset the stomach of the odd public relations person.

Non Profit/Charity Sector

I’ve got ample experience on the subway, bundled up in dirty blankets, drinking Ripple, offering unhygienic tins of stew to baffled teenagers on lunch breaks and alarming other passengers by starting small trash fires to warm myself.

Education

I’ve helped initiate a “cigarettes for milk” campaign at my son’s elementary school

I earned an Accredited Online Masters Degree in one year rather than the usual two, because of my high-speed broadband connection.

Miscellaneous Office Work

I’ve been told I’m something of an expert in the area of flame retardant polyesters, up to but not necessarily including my wardrobe.

My employment history is like the distilling of a fine whiskey, which, not coincidentally I’ve been known to add to my morning coffee but not to worry, I’m happy to share with colleagues. In order to accept your offer, the conditions “in the barrel” need to be just right.

Leave A Reply