Kevin McHale VS Kevin McHale
July 16, 2012 | Celebrities
In our pop culture lab, we dissect television like it’s a frog and to torture a metaphor further – though not the frog, poor thing – we study it with what Byron called a telescope of truth (we draw the line at the good Lord’s favored diet of thinly-sliced bread, tea and cigars).
The Glee phenomenon – unless one was sailing around the world in a skiff or living in a grass hut (unadvised if you tend to leave cigarette butts around) – is practically unavoidable.
Three things are noticeable from the get-go, about this group of talented, show-tune belting, Midwestern math and science-avoiding youngsters:
1) for supposed social outcasts, these hormonal barber-shoppers lead lives that are far more interesting than anyone else in the school, their every need catered to by teachers with a private tutor to the rich and famous, dedication to each and every one of them
2) The ultra talented Jane Lynch (A Mighty Wind, Walk Hard, The 40-Year-old Virgin) is and remains, the only watchable part of the manque Getalong-gang liberal Utopia (for a “progressive” show, they couldn’t resist casting butch gym teachers and sassy fat black chicks). When check-cashing on Two and a Half Men, Lynch is welcome respite from the show’s agonizingly unwatchable sexual innuendo / sarcasm / sexual innuendo motif and…
3) The name Kevin McHale appears in the credits.
This of course, is not the Celtics great Kevin McHale, who was a key member of the five all-star starting lineup of the 1985 Boston Celtics, arguably one of the greatest basketball teams of all time – whose membership in our list of the Top 10 People who Look Like the Frankenstein Monster comes a distant sixth or seventh at least.
This considerably shorter McHale, a Harry Connick Jr Mini-me (not to be confused with cast-mate Harry Shum Jr – and why would you? he’s Chinese and not a jazz pianist), like the former Degrassi actor-turned rapper Drake – is an able-bodied actor who plays a handicapped guy on TV (it’s impossible to be in show business and be in a wheelchair – Astrophysicists and pornographers don’t count).
Apparently, some people find it inappropriate that a guy who can walk, portrays someone disabled. We found this out in Access Hollywood, a publication that is not, despite what its name suggests, about disability rights for those with trust funds.
The 6’10 McHale, hails from the same town as Bob Dylan – Hibbing Minnesota – and had a noteworthy appearance on Cheers in which his association with the titular barflies, took a toll on his game when he became obsessed with counting the floor boards at the old Boston Garden. During fourth quarter blow-outs, one can imagine members of the unremittingly terrible Toronto Raptors doing the same thing.
According to NBA.com, “given his gawky legs and disproportionately long arms, [McHale] had extraordinary balance”.
Now, Kevin McHale is widely acknowledged to be the best dancer on Glee (out of wheelchair, that is – as doing the worm in a wheelchair is highly inadvisable).
Kevin McHale was named one of the 50 best NBA players of all time. The question remains whether his pint-sized namesake will see his name in lights as one of the Top 10 Fictional Handicapped Characters of all time- a list featuring Timmy and Jimmy from South Park, Joe Swanson from Family Guy and the likes of Dr. Strangelove (““Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!”).