November 11, 2009 | celebrities

It appears ‘advocacy journalist’ Lou Dobbs has left CNN leaving wind-blown heir to the Vanderbilt fortune Anderson Cooper and the always ridiculous slap-happy Wolf Blitzer to mind the store. Until further notice, Larry King will continue to doze off through an endless procession of psychics, has-beens and never weres.

With Dobbs’ depature that false-toothed Harvard maw will be tough to fill.

November 7, 2009 | celebrities

Jay Leno’s comedy is a Dane Cook-worthy abomination. Case in point: a recent monologue…

Set up: Did you hear this one? It seems a recent study says marijuana can be effective in treating hemorrhoids.

Punchline: Talk about a doubie up your booty.

‘Doubie’ is a term that has been out of popular use since about 1971.

Somebody pull the plug on this hack already.

November 2, 2009 | celebrities, weird news

We have the utmost respect for royalty. Without the Queen’s portrait on our currency, the results of a coin toss would be that much more difficult to determine and would likely involve woodland creatures (one would hope that if the Queen’s visage was replaced on the side that shows up 50% of the time, it would be with something that hangs in your lower-brow sports bar—a moose head).

Speaking of bars, when you sidle up to one you most often unfurl a Queen and, if you’re in one of the more bargain-friendly taverns, receive two pints and a ten in exchange. QE II is also the default scrilla spit out of an ATM so by extension, the Queen is the one responsible for getting you home safely in a taxi after a night out drinking.

We’ve written about our social betters previously, and we’ve also blogged about Prince Harry. In a show of solidarity with our guest of honor, HRH the Prince of Wales, we’ve decided to take the day off and, well, not do much of anything. It is, we realize,  a small token but as much as we’d like to fully pay our respects by say, not doing anything for the other 364 days of the year, we’re beholden to performing regular activities in exchange for remuneration, otherwise known as a job in a free market.

Two World Cups have passed since the prince last found himself in Canada. To put this in perspective celestially speaking,  Transits of Venus across the Sun are among the rarest of planetary alignments, with pairs of transits eight years apart separated by long gaps. A Venus Transit occurs when we can see the planet as a small black disk moving across the face of the Sun.

While this can be seen with the naked eye, a high-powered telescope would be required to detect any interest we might have in his return visit.