September 3, 2008
Our home province of Ontario is one of the few places on earth (along with Muslim theocracies, the highlands of Papua New Guinea, and certain stretches of the Australian outback), where you can’t simply wander into your corner store to buy a six-pack but are compelled to take your business to a government-affiliated outlet, which in a feat of Burges Dubai-like creative heights, was dubbed “The Beer Store.” (Its comparably ugly twin sister dealing in spirits goes by the equally thought provoking moniker of “The Liquor Store”. We blogged about both of them here).
The Beer Store, much like it sounds with that definite article, is the only game in town, firmly in the white-knuckle flier clutches of an oligopoly—Mega-brewers Inbev, Molson Coors and Sapporo, who maintain a corrupt-warden-to-inmate relationship with any potential competitors and have a “close working relationship with the Government of Ontario.” A similarly close relationship was enjoyed by the makers of the one shirt and one pair of pants that were the fashion in Communist-era Russia.
Advocates of the suds cartel, like Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty, whose son is one of the overpaid beer luggers employed by the chain, believe that life as we know it in our fair province would be irrecoverably harmed if, say, shopkeepers were left to ask for proper ID, as is the state of affairs pretty much everywhere else on the planet. (Editor’s Shameless Plug: Indeed, only a handful of stories in our book, “The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death: And Other True Tales of Drunken Debauchery,” took place in Ontario, and we lay that shame solely at the feet of the Beer/Liquor stores stranglehold on competition.)
Derek Forward, a man aptly-named for the progressive direction he points toward, has had enough. This Rosa Parks of the boozing set has started an online petition calling on the Ontario government to allow consumers to be able to buy booze where they buy their groceries. His petition states: “”The people of Ontario demand that the Ontario government allow beer to be sold and distributed through existing and regular grocery and food store channels.” Bravo, sir!
The petition can be found here.
Still not convinced? Here are The Shark Guys’ reasons why Ontario needs a free beer market!
1) It Would Please Al Gore: For the environmentally conscious among you, more places selling booze means beer would be a mere stumble down the street away. The guy at the corner store who sells you all of your pornography and cigarettes, but who, for some insultingly patronizing reason, is not allowed you to sell you beer would now be able to. You would no longer have to go out of your way in your pollution-chugging vehicle to buy booze.
2) Better Booze Choice + Better Prices = Happy Drinkers: Microbrews now have to pay more for shelf space at The Beer Store. Opening up the market would give them access that the big boys currently hog. Not only that but as anyone who has studied Economics 101 or, merely owned a lemonade stand as a child and witnessed what happens when that obnoxious kid down the street open a competiting one, knows — more competition leads to lower prices.
3) You wouldn’t have to freeze your balls off as much: What Ontarian hasn’t been through the unpleasant experience of having to trudge through some Arctic hinterland just for the privilege of patronizing The Beer Store? Those without a car are left to make the slog on foot or suffer the double indignity of carrying a case of beer on a bus. (Our apologies to our female readers for the gender specificity of this one, but you get the idea.)
4) Sundays Would Improve Greatly: At the moment, owing to the province’s puritanical roots, The Beer Store obnoxiously limits its hours on Sundays. Finding out what Beer Store is open late on Sundays must have been what it was like to arrive in a new city during the Prohibition era and trying to find a speak-easy, only once you found one then you could enjoy yourself beyond 5pm. Also, if the beer market were opened up to competition, it would no longer be necessary to back your truck up to the entrance of the Beer Store and pile up the cases prior to a holiday weekend and the further restricted hours of those times.
These are but a few of the many reasons why The Beer Store’s adamantine-like grip on booze sales in Ontario must be broken. Good luck Mr. Forward!
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:22 am
I live in Québec, and it’s a royal pain in the arse to have to go through 3-4 dépanneurs just to find the proper micro-brewery you want. At least, the Beer Stores carry them all.
September 3rd, 2008 at 10:45 am
Or so you’d think…Depending on what area you live in, the selection is highly highly variable. Ritzy ‘hoods get a great selection (this is especially true for wines at the LCBO) and have people who make food pairing suggestions. I’ve also been in stores where you’re followed by security guards. But getting back to that selection issue, I recently went to one store and they didn’t even stock BOURBON of all things.
I live in downtown/west part of Toronto and you can’t even find a single Belgian beer that isn’t Stella. They also have the same 5 German beers too (and not any of the good ones).
A lot of my friends don’t drive and rely on public transit and Beer Stores are typically spaced wide enough apart that it’s impossible to buy a 12-pack and lug it home (especially in the summer heat).
I would LOVE to be able to grab a six-pack (regardless of brand) at the corner store and then when I’m in the mood for something more high-end/microbrewed I’d be willing to make the trek further afield. We don’t have that choice you guys do in La Belle Province.
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:04 am
@thesharkguys,
Since there are so many French speakers in your area, it is quite likely that the lack of bourbon is intentional…. just kidding, but when the people in Kentucky and Tennessee get all patriotic, weird stuff happens.
In the states, most used to have what they called blue laws. That is no selling of non-essentials on a Sunday. Most of these have been repealed, but the bible bashers have clung tightly, and it’s still difficult to buy alcohol before noon on a Sunday in most places. Yes, you imagined that correctly. You can stand there in the store for 30 minutes, but until 12 noon exactly, the 12 pack in your hands is NOT for sale.
Where I currently live, you can buy beer and wine in grocery stores and gas stations, but to buy bourbon you have to travel about 20 miles to the appropriately licensed store. Sure, you can leave church on a Sunday, walk to the corner bar and order a double on the rocks, but you cannot buy any to take home with you where you might be able to enjoy it while lounging in the back yard. No, none of that creature comfort for the damned alcoholics, that is reserved for beer and wine drinkers.
Laws are odd things. It’s usually best to change politicians before trying to change laws. None of the current politicians want to admit that the current alcohol laws exist to support a particular brand of invisible friend. Perhaps you might find ideas reading atheist blogs?
September 3rd, 2008 at 11:20 am
Hey Z.
Interesting! Yeah, I’ve been down to Tennessee and Kentucky (both beautiful states) and the presence of ‘dry counties’ astounded me, especially where Jack Daniels is distilled. That was a shocker.
As far as Sunday sales, our liquor monopolies have very restricted Sunday hours too (as an aside, even in Toronto, the bloody subway doesn’t start running until 9:15 AM on a Sunday, despite the loads of people you see crammed on a bus going to work in the hours prior)
20 miles to find bourbon? Yikes. Actually, the outlet I was at, had Jim Beam, which I don’t consider to be real bourbon, of the type I enjoyed in TN or KY. The stuff is like turpentine. It’s to bourbon what Bacardi is to rum— a cheap facsimile.
September 4th, 2008 at 11:42 am
[...] Shark Guys cover Derek Forward and his Beer Store campaign here. A quote: Our home province of Ontario is one of the few places on earth (along with Muslim [...]
September 9th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
It seems that this would just lead to more drunk driving when people go on emergency runs.
If the corner stores are allowed to sell beer these stores would switch to specialty stores out of necessity. Nobody is going to pick up a 12 of Molson when you can get that anywhere. But as small corner stors won’t have the shelf space to have a great selection they would still have their own niche.
September 9th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Agreed. There is nothing worse than ‘emergency runs’
September 10th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Good day, Shark Guys. I might not be from Ontario or even Canada, but I support your efforts one hundred per cent.
I’m from the great state of Taxachusetts (erm. Massachusetts), and we here practically invented Puritanism, so all of the neo-Puritans have to bow down to us! ;-) *rolleyes*
It’s not as bad here anymore, since the restrictive blue laws were repealed in 1994, and booze sales are allowed on Sundays since 2003 or so (one of the few good things Mitt actually did!). Also, retail outlets are all private, but the Commonwealth has its way of exerting influence: a person or company can only own three such outlets statewide, specific types of booze have to go through those outlets (namely the hard stuff), and a person or company can not hold both an off-licence and an on-licence in the same town. Also, the off-licences are called “package stores” or “packies” here because clerks once had to package the booze; it could not be visible on the street. Still, it’s much worse in places such as Pennsylvania, which has practically the same setup. Perhaps you guys should take a look at Lew Bryson’s site chronicling his efforts to get rid of the PLCB (which looks just like LCBO).
I like what Z said earlier, that changing politicians is usually helpful before changing laws. Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you guys had an opportunity to change those politicians last year. Did you? Why, no! Too many people got hung up in religious school hysteria, although John Tory had a very valid point about state-sponsored (erm, I mean province-sponsored) Catholic education; I would go as far as to say that it is practically “separate but equal,” but that’s neither here nor there. :-D
Anyway, back to the task at hand. There probably won’t be a confidence motion any time soon, so you will have to wait three years before trying to change politicians again. However, it would be sweet if something like this ended up bringing down the government. One can dream, right? ;-) Still, apparently, Canadian law says that the provincial boards have to import all non-Canadian booze (don’t have a link, sorry; I just Googled it and was directed to a paid-publication link), so the boards won’t be going away, unless you change the national politicians. And, hey, sure enough, there’s a national election coming up! Perhaps this is a chance for you guys to get on the campaign trail.
Regardless of what happens, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavours. Raise hell, Shark Guys!
January 4th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
this canada lcbo rip off is a disgrace and we pay twice as much tax as they do in michigan- liquor is distilled in canada sent there and sold for half the price - this is what govt does! american bourbon and whisky is sold for half the price or less over there!if you want these at lcbo you cant get them -
January 4th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
tired of govt money grabs and corruption