February 7, 2010 | celebrities
Prior to his talk show, Jimmy Kimmel was circus master of the trampoline T&A tableau that was The Man Show and recently he earned our boundless respect for going on the Jay Leno Show and giving viewers the only funny Ten at Ten segment in the show’s mercifully brief history, and further slapping Leno Down by impersonating him for an entire episode of his own show.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have his slapping hand at the ready when purity-ringleader Nick Jonas appeared on his show this week and implied that Dylan can’t sing.
Nick Jonas, a member of eponymous fraternal rubes who help fund Disney shareholder 401ks, awkwardly made his way through the interview with Kimmel, obviously made uncomfortable by Jimmy’s humor, and looking like he would run for the exits screaming “Jesus Saves” when the host broached the subject of sex.
During the second half of the interview, Jonas was discussing a remake of We Are the World in which rapper Lil’ Wayne was supposed to sing Bob Dylan’s original part. When the Louisiana rapper protested, “but I can’t sing”, the Jonas Brother quipped to Kimmel ‘Exactly!’
We assume Kimmel held back from shaking this kid by the lapels and slapping him until he became aware of how inappropriate it is for a maker of confectionery pop music to disrespect one of the all-time greats. Somehow, though, we think Bob Dylan will be able to weather this assault from a singer whose music does the opposite of what good music should do and that is encourage people to fornicate.
We’ve covered a few beefs here before, but this isn’t going to be anything close to a fair fight, like say, one between former Bloods gangbanger The Game and human flak jacket 50 Cent. The closest we’ve come is covering a restaurant beef between George Clooney and Fabio, who just never got the acting recognition he deserved. Here we are comparing Dylan, a musical meteor shower, with Nick Jonas, a discount firecracker.
But let’s see how it plays out on the tale-of-the-tape, even if it seems, to use a different metaphor—-blue fin tuna versus bycatch.
Bob Dylan has been called the voice of a generation
Nick Jonas has been a spokesperson for adult-onset acne
Dylan’s influence can be felt in literary, folk, jazz, hip hop and poetry circles
Nick Jonas’ influence can be felt in a mall food court.
Bob Dylan’s songs have been covered by thousands of artists globally from every genre of music
Nobody has covered a Jonas Brothers song to the best of our knowledge, or at least, have not fessed up to it if they have.
Bob Dylan wrote a critically acclaimed memoir, a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle that spent 19 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list.
Nick Jonas dated Miley Cyrus.
Bob Dylan received a special citation from the Pulitzer Prize committee for his impact on American culture and academics have lobbied Nobel members to award him a Nobel Prize for Literature.
Nick Jonas, with his brothers, appeared in an ad for Baby Bottle Pops.
Bob Dylan was cited in Time 100: The Most Important People of the Century where he was called “master poet, caustic social critic and intrepid, guiding spirit of the counterculture generation”.
Nick Jonas has been photographed in Bop and Tiger Beat
Bob Dylan Choice Lyrics:
‘Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form.
“Come in,” she said,
“I’ll give you shelter from the storm.”
Jonas Brothers Choice Lyrics:
How long will I be waiting,
To be with you again
Gonna tell you that I love you,
In the best way that I can.
Bob Dylan has stayed relevant, constantly reinventing himself as an artist and his most recent albums are among the best of his career.
The most remarkable thing about Nick Jonas is that he has diabetes.
Bob Dylas has been a colossal figure in American music for half a century.
Nick Jonas writes his own songs—-but let’s point out that Danielle Steele and Stephenie Meyer write their own books but that doesn’t make it right.
Projected Winner: Any single day Dylan has spent in a recording studio victorious over the entire output of Nick Jonas’ career.
bout time someone pointed out the obvious
looks like dylan’s caught wind of this little twit!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUlIFneN4GE
got get ‘em Bob!
I can see where the kid is coming from, in the traditional sense (and it don’t get much more traditional than the Jonas Bros), Bob Dylan isn’t the greatest singer in the world. You can’t deny his songwriting ability, but if it came down to just his voice, he wouldn’t be what he is today. I feel bad for this Jonas cause now all the uptight jackasses of the world are going to be jumping down his throat without even really thinking that there may have been even a little bit of truth behind what he was saying.
Yes anyone who defends bob dylan is a uptight jack ass. Dylan would not be as succsesful as Nick Jonas Dylan h they were the same age. Of Dylans 10 albums on the rolling stone top 500 2 were within the last 15 years. His last album sold 125,00 in the first week what did Nicks last album sell in the first week? But you are right Dylan wouldnt make it now if he was starting out, just fire up Nicks new album and dont let the facts get in the way of your post.
Now that was funny! I’m 59 with a 16 year old daughter and it is useless to try and explain music to this generation. They have grown up in a different world. I thought disco was the worst until rap came along. I don’t even know what to call the crap they listen to now but it is ugly and barren and I refuse to call it music. Bob has written at least one song for every feeling I’ve ever had. There is a lot more religion in Dylans music than all the worlds ‘bibles’ stacked together. Dylan is life, the ups and downs, the wretchedness and the joy. Very few artists can do that. Who the hell IS this Nick Jonas anyway? Never heard of him. That’s no doubt best.
Hey JB…..I suppose Louie Armstrong couldn’t sing either eh? When I was a kid playing guitar in a garage band I thought Dylan couldn’t sing worth a damn either. 45 years later I know their are very few in his league. I suggest ya listen to some ‘Traveling Willburys’. Roy Orbison, George Harrison, Tom Petty and Dylan got together and toured a bit and cut some albums. They are just great. Heck, Petty doesn’t have that great a voice either but it’s perfect with his tunes.
Personally I think Dylan is great at what he does, and nobody can deny that he’s an icon. I’m just saying I can see why someone (especially someone of his age and mentality, who doesn’t really understand the depth and message of what Dylan does) would think otherwise.
I’m no jonas fan, but i’m not a hater. Let’s face it. The kid said ‘he can’t sing’. Yes, it’s true. Ask any vocal coach, anywhere on the planet and they’ll tell ya the same ‘he can’t sing’. Your tale of the tape never once addressed his entire point. He never said Dylan wasn’t an icon. He said ‘he can’t sing’, and till this very moment, even after your tiraid… he still… can’t sing.
I agree, you’re a genious.
Let’s rephrase that final sentence:
Any single day Dylan has spent in the crapper, sick with a stomach virus, victorious over the entire output of Nick Jonas’ career.
The lyrical comparison had my sides hurting!
I agree with Mark and JB, Dylan is almost definitely the most poetic songwriter in all of music. Yes, he is an icon, but, no, he isn’t the world’s best singer. In fact, he isn’t close. Also, Nick wrote that song when he was 13. I wonder what Dylan was writing at 13? Also, you can’t compare the lifetime achievements of Dylan (who is about 70?) to the achievements of a 17 year old boy. In fifty years, we can then have an intelligent discussion of the comparative merits of the two musicians. In addition, Nick has appeared in much more relevant publishings than Bop and Teen Beat. If you want to even pretend to make this a fair fight, then you should probably use the best of Nick’s career against the best of Dylan’s. Last I leave you with these lines “We’ve never been into honesty, so promise me you’ll let me know when you’re lying. She wants to be an eagle and when she’s high, she can fly no matter what she was trying. She’ll be the perfect woman, then she’ll change, and suddenly you want to cry from the feeling.” How is that for a 16 year old?