January 27, 2010 | reviews

“You can’t treat the working man this way! One of these days we’ll form a union, and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we’ll go too far, and become corrupt and shiftless…!”

The Simpsons

Last Exit to Springfield

This week, Toronto Transit Commission came  under fire over employees doing what people normally spend one-third of their lives doing—not a workplace commute—but sleeping.

The napping employees were the subject of an excellent meme and a not so excellent exculpation from a self-described humour writer (seeing what passes for humor in a major daily is enough  to make us consider a career change).

Speaking of which, walking papers will not be forthcoming as a powerful union, the ATU, represents one of the busted dozers, whose mea culpa is enough to ensure he stays behind protective glass for years to come.

Now don’t get us wrong, we sympathize with ordinary TTC workers.

Having to work for a transit system that is the envy of Bratislava, Slovakia in the face of silly fare hikes, out of commission token machines and in subway stations, more exposed pipes than an American Idol audition has got to be a tough gig. However, the bear minimum that can be asked of an employee, that they not sleep on the job (or  in the case of some occupations, shoot up the place—please see our list of the Top 10 Postal Workers) was violated.

Now, we’ve talked about the TTC briefly before (in our list of suggested acronyms to which we can now add Toronto Transit Catnappers) and for those unfamiliar with Toronto, if you were born too late to have experienced the 70s, instead of renting Saturday Night Fever or growing your hair long, you can simply experience the decade second-hand with our third-rate mass transit system.

Their much-touted screens that let commuters know when the next train/bus is coming, were in place when one of us lived in Germany 20 years ago and their lumbering trolleys (mostly inaccessible to the elderly/disabled—-the only way our system is a step up relative to others, but not in a good way) can be beaten on foot provided a heavy wind isn’t blowing in the opposite direction.

The sad state of affairs means two lousy subway lines servicing a metropolitan area approaching 5 million people with no political will or vision to foresee what a city would look like 30 years from now, but  merely one that is a reminder of 30 years past.

Since our obits will be written long before a third subway line is built perhaps it’s best to just shut your eyes and envision what this city could become before you get very…very….sleepy.