January 24, 2010 | lists,music
Winston Churchill once remarked “Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.” To be shot with result however, is undoubtedly one of the more popular ways of expediting your way through life’s checkout line.
Right up there though, a fear of heights excepted, is leaping off something suitably towering as there is nothing that’ll bring you down to earth faster than gravity.
In San Francisco, they know a thing or two about this as the Golden Gate Bridge has launched more bodies than a trade show for trampolines.
A gruesome article in the Chronicle pointed out that after one of these sans parachute skydives, the human body goes from 80 mph to nearly zero in a nanosecond and internal organs tend to keep going according to the physics of inertia—let’s just say that this method of passing is a lot more violent than being smothered in a less than reputable nursing home.
Autopsy reports typically indicate jumpers have lacerated internal organs and don’t always kick it on impact so it behooves the rest of us, should we find someone in such a vulnerable position, to minimize the risk of auto insurance claims being filed below and to help the person out as best we can.
A UK DJ, staking a claim to moral real estate so far-flung it might land him an invite to freelance here, recently played a request for Van Halen’s Jump, while a four-lane highway was closed and traffic snarled due to efforts to talk a suicidal woman down 30 feet. Understandably, this was met with much objection although one editorial pointed out that “the courageous DJ was expressing solidarity and compassion for the poor drivers stuck in traffic.”
Think of this as a PSA of sorts, not that prostate exam but the other kind, for what types of songs should not, under any circumstances, be blasted from the sound-system of your ride when someone is out on a ledge.
10. Jump Flo Rida / Up Where we Belong Joe Cocker Jennifer Warnes
Choice Lyrics:
“Now I’m gonna take it to the roof
Everybody with me got they own parachute.”
and…
“Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world below.”
9. I’m Gonna Fly Amy Grant
Choice Lyrics
“I’m gonna fly
No one knows where
But I’m gonna fly.”
8. Jumpin Jack Flash Rolling Stones
Choice Lyrics
“I was drowned
I was washed up and left for dead.”
7. Tonight we Fly Divine Comedy
Choice Lyrics:
Tonight we fly
Over the chimney tops
Skylights and slates -
Looking into all your lives
And wondering why
Happiness is so hard to find
6. Spread your Wings Queen
Choice Lyrics
“Fly away, far away.
That’s because you’re a free man.”
5. Jump Simple Plan
Choice Lyrics
“I wanna break free
I’m so frustrated
I just wanna jump”
4. Free Fallin’ Tom Petty
Choice Lyrics
“Gonna free fall, out into nothin’
Gonna leave this world for a while.”
3. I Believe I can Fly R Kelly
Choice Lyrics
“I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away”
2. Learning to Fly Tom Petty
Choice Lyrics
“Learning to fly when you ain’t got wings,
Comin’ down is the hardest thing”
1. Jump Van Halen
Choice Lyrics
“Might as well jump, go ahead jump”
Honorable Mentions:
I Fall to Pieces, Patsy Cline, Suicide Solution, Ozzy Osbourne, Another One Bites the Dust, Queen, Fall on Me, R.E.M. Flying without Wings, Westlife, Flight of Icarus, Iron Maiden
Though the title has absolutely nothing to do with suicide or jumping or ledges, the They Might Be Giants song “Spiraling Shape” begins with the lyrics:
Down, down, down you go
No way to stop
As you fall, hear me call
No, no, no…
That would be great to play on an endless loop.
And/or Catherine Wheel’s song “Waydown.”