October 22, 2009 | reviews
Recently, Twitter heralded its 5 billionth tweet — an achievement a pet store would need a lot of discount budgies to match.
We thought we’d mark the occasion by reminding everyone who tweets sweetly or otherwise that we have contributed 0.000000023% of our share to this figure. [click here for our Twitter page]
Up until this point, we’ve yet to really make the most of Twitter, and have yet to tap into the demographic that comprises, according to reports, ‘a median age lower than that of Facebook‘, which should have perverts turning away from Myspace and American Apparel ads, en masse. This study is from the Pew Internet and American Life Project, which apparently means that churches now have wi-fi access — too little, too late, organized religion.
We will Tweet, according to feedback/demand either:
a) updates of our lives from locales that make James Bond look like someone who gets groceries delivered to his door, places that aren’t featured on the news unless they’re the point of origin of one of those ships flying a “flag of convenience” and bringing cocaine or human shipments to these shores.
b) some of our favorite recipes–usually vegetarian, but occasionally meat-based and comprising species that might, due to our small, but determined efforts, move from “vulnerable” to “endangered” on those lists.
c) updates on sports that don’t actually involve watching them but just employ common sense. Sample tweet: “the Toronto Blue Jays, Raptors and Maple Leafs are probably losing” or
d) personal, witty observations of the kind that made Seinfeld a household name despite the fact that the obvious brains behind the operation was Larry David.
So, we present our Twitter Page for everyone’s edification, or, as edified as you can possibly be in as many characters that it usually takes to come up with some really top-notch bathroom graffiti. Again, we welcome suggestions for Tweets (limericks, short math problems, Cockney rhyming slang, libeling public figures or chronicling our individual bed times—given that one Shark Guy lives in the other hemisphere, please do not misconstrue an afternoon post as a sign of lethargy or chronic fatigue).
Thanks and we look forward to sending out the sweetest of the tweetest.
A lot of the tweets are just spam.
Just tweet about how much Twitter sucks