August 18, 2009 | Rants
Coors Light, along with Bud Light, among the very worst beers on the planet
At the risk of never having a free case of the stuff end up on our doorstep (if it did, we’d donate it to the food bank and help the less fortunate get a load on) a frat house would not feed Coors Light to their alcoholic dog.
Coors Light is the Denny’s of beer—cheap crap nobody would ever ingest unless all other options, including abstaining entirely or guzzling Scope, were exhausted. Like carbon monoxide, Coors Light is odorless, colorless and tasteless and now, as far as the latter is concerned, they’ve got a campaign to match in which they take a potshot at Toronto: the city many Canadians are secretly jealous of because it’s the cultural and economic capital.
AMC’s Mad Men glamorizes those in the marketing profession, not so much for the actual work involved (at this point, envision in your mind’s eye 100 monkeys at 100 keyboards) but for the heavy drinking on the job—an excuse, whoever came up with this head-scratcher, might consider using.
Anyway, above is their witless simile ad campaign (if you’re in the marketing profession, a ‘simile’ is a comparison using ‘like’ or ‘as’ as in: ‘whoever devised this ad campaign is dumber than a bag of doorknobs’). Well done for attacking a market where 1 in 10 Canadians live. Good job!
As if another reason was required to shun this product, apart from it tasting like watered down concentrate lemonade.
Please tell me that at least they weren’t stupid enough to post this on billboards actually in Toronto….please?
I get their logic because Toronto is pretty darn cold in winter but didn’t they have anyone to do a sanity check?
Please tell me that at least they weren\’t stupid enough to post this on billboards actually in Toronto….please?
I get their logic because Toronto is pretty darn cold in winter but didn\’t they have anyone to do a sanity check?
That is odd. I got a reject message both times telling me I got the anti-spam word wrong. Guess I didn’t after all. Sorry for the repeats.
All of you are just reinforcing the campaign ad! Don’t take such offence! Vancouver hates you because we hate your hockey team, and because you guys act more American that most Americans do. Laugh because you won’t be when the Canucks beat your asses this season. And FYI, that’s not a simile, that’s a metaphor. Definitely not the smartest city in Canada…
You must admit that it took balls to do this ad campaign. The best part is that its funny and true! Toronto people whine and complain when they get “dissed”…..but have no concept that the rest of the country even exists. Suck it up Toronto!
Editor’s note:
To our American readers, we’re not entirely sure what it means to ‘act American’, so you’re going to have to ask Cheyenne (isn’t that in Wyoming?)
To those of you who don’t experience regular snowfall (i.e., most of the ever-warming planet), Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Olympic Winter Games, a chance to showcase the lovely city and, with an influx of visitors, hopefully extend bar hours past the usual midnight closing.
The Winter Games, not to be confused with the real Olympics (which involves sports people actually play), comprises ones like wearing a motorcycle helmet while sliding down a sheet of ice–generally abandoned by most kids by the time they’re 8.
Vancouver is quite consumed by this event (as well they should be, as their children’s children will be saddled with the debt) and, apparently, beating the snot out of the Toronto Maple Leafs. The Leafs, for the better part of modernity, have occupied the NHL basement as one of the worst franchises, not only in hockey, but of any sport. As far as beating them goes, out of the 30 teams in the league, 29 of these do so with regularity.
I don’t get it. I think they’re actually talking about the cold temperatures, not a psychological trait.
I think the important thing is to remember that marketers are now trying to make coldness a factor in whether a beer is of high quality or not. Is it Coors that has the label that changes color so you can tell that it’s cold as opposed to, oh I don’t know, touching it?
As for acting American, all you have to do is pick up a pitchfork and go to a town meeting to proclaim that the government is trying to kill you by giving you healthcare.
And Canadians brew some skunk piss beer, too, don’t they? It used to be stronger than American beer. Frat houses at my school were always crossing the border to buy it. Is it still stronger? I wouldn’t know because I stopped drinking a while back, which is what allows me to focus on this screen and irritate you all with my nattering. Cheers!
Coors is a special beer which truly is made differently than almost all others. IT IS GREAT! Whomever the make believe beer connisewer is that was speaking badly about it, should go back to drinking his regular brew. Which I have every reason to believe is unflushed toilet water. Exactly what he merits.
There was once a liker of a Coors,
Whose opinion we’re more than happy to skewer,
He’s more than off base
As is his taste,
As it’s a product we’d sooner flush down a sewer
Firstly, one of the primary goals of every ad campaign is to get your attention. I believe that Coors has accomplished that with this ad. Secondly, Toronto IS a frigid and barren wasteland, just like the rest of Canada. If this weren’t the case, you wouldn’t have gotten your bowels in such an upsroar over this. Right?
Let me preface this by saying I agree that Coors is swill AND that I lived in Toronto for years. That being said, I actually am with Coors on this one. I know that Toronto think it’s the centre of the universe, because I thought that when I lived there as well. So, can’t they take a joke? I mean really – what’s the big deal? This is harmless stuff and I’m sure 99% of Torontonians could care less – because they don’t think about it at all. This is just playing off an existing friendly rivalry. In truth, I’m actually a little surprised at your response – although we’re all entitled to our opinions. Anyway – CHEERS!
ps – Coors is a scientific anamolly in that it both blows and sucks.
This article sounds like it was written by someone who took serious offense to their add… every resident of TO who isn’t cold will get its one of Canada’s little rivalry jokes and people who get so upset with it can’t take a joke. If you dish it out you have to be able to take a joke back. So I have to say, sounds like the writer here is who the add is targeted at…
ps- I love Coors
I don’t think they were trying to “Attack” people from Toronto. My perception and interpretation of the AD was: They want to push the beer as being cold, (with those new mountain graphics that turn blue when the beer is cold), when someone thinks about a really “cold” place on the planet, Toronto, Canada comes to mind as being “cold” in the truest sense, not the literal sense. So if the beer is colder than any human living in a climate like that, or at least the perception of a human in a super cold climate, the beer must be darn cold.
It worked for me. I still can stand Coors Light, but I sure am feeling cold. Happy, nice and affectionate. Just cold. Now where is my sweater?
Did that guy actually say “beer connisewer”. Wow. I think the aluminum from the Coors can has taken it’s toll my man. It’s “Connoisseur” ya dolt.
OK. I just got it.