July 6, 2009 | reviews
In his autobiographical Almost Famous, Cameron Crowe showed a generation of less than discriminating movie-goers, what it was like to tag along underage with a rock band without availing oneself of cocaine or groupies (and, even if Crowe himself abstained, what a less than satisfactory cinematic experience it was without either of these elements realistically depicted).
Still, the movie elevated the music critic back in the days (long gone) when journalists still had expense accounts and the gig was a paying one.
Nowadays, compensation comes in the form of free CDs, whose value is considerably diminished in that anyone can download, listen to and get sick of, a full album in the time it takes to read this.
Music criticism is unique in that while theater critics have studied theater, film critics have studied film, music criticism is a carrot dangled in front of ambitious fact-checkers and brown nosing interns, both of whom could easily mistake an arpeggio for something that would be served as a side order with veal Parmesan.
Music reviews are a great way to slip turgid prose past editors (usually too busy to bother) while flaunting one’s ego and lending a hand to your roommate’s crummy band. Here are some bits of useful jargon if you want to volunteer your services as a music snob-for-hire.
post-punk, unabashedly, visceral, fuzz, chugging, poignant, embrace, raspy, raunchy, pioneer, sonic exploration, (un)selfconscious, nuanced, honest, swagger, landscapes, vivid, innovators, stripped down, foot-stomping (because what better thing to stomp than one’s feet?), ghostly and overt.
These work for just about any genre. See the following:
- The new album by noise-rock innovators Sonic Youth showcases the band’s unselfconsciously vivid lyrics, foot-stomping guitars and nuanced vocals.
- Or, the Constantine’s latest album features more overt sonic exploration, less in common with their post-punk fuzz fueled contemporaries. Still, you can count on the band’s honesty, swagger, raunchy riffs and unabashedly self conscious lyricism.
- Proto pop band _______________(insert band of your choice) has been known to embrace elements as diverse as samba, Bulgarian folk music, ska, Viennese waltzes into their sonic explorations. Known for their visceral live shows, their honest, no-nonsense ethos has won them many fans as post-punk innovators and while some have been slow to embrace their self consciously less than stripped down approach to performing, many have been drawn to their poignant lyricism and unabashedly honest aesthetic.
- The ghostly, stripped down production on the latest album by _____________ is an indicator of the band’s sonic maturity. With fewer chugging riffs, they’ve opted instead for the nuanced, less overt, fuzz-infused stylings of their contemporaries.
- Eschewing the stripped down, production elements that have influenced _____________, they’ve instead opted for chugging guitars, raspy vocals and sonic explorations more in common with noise rock innovators like _____________than what you’d expect from raunchy riff pioneers like _______________.
- The following is an advanced usage of the preceding terms:
Known for their vivid, unselfconsciously ghostly lyrics, post punk innovators______________have more in common with the raunchy, chugging, foot stomping guitars, raspy vocals and raunchy lyrics of ___________than might be anticipated from the band, known more for showcasing their sonic exploration. ____________(album title) sees the band in fine form, with nuanced, stripped down production, often lacking among their unabashedly, fuzz-obsessed peers and more honest, poignant lyricism than you might expect from those responsible for the decidedly less visceral, more overt ______________(other album title).
For music reviews of another sort entirely, please see our Horrible Bands Named after Places, Best Cocaine Songs of All Time, Top 10 DUI Songs, Top 10 Gin Songs and Top 10 Bar Songs.
[...] Read the original: The Shark Guys » How to be a Rock Critic [...]