June 15, 2009 | lists
Ever since David Letterman realized that his show functioned as a better lead-in to the Flavor Wave Turbo oven infomercial when he compiled lists of things, Top 10 countdowns have taken off like their Cape Canaveral counterpart.
[As a side note: one night in a Chicago blues bar, band members made the mistake of asking some white guy to count the drummer in for the next song...instead of 1..2, a 1, 2, 3 he offered '5, 4, 3, 2, 1', cracking up the entire band and probably making them reconsider their career choice, or at very least their decision to play for predominantly Caucasian audiences].
We salute Letterman for popularizing the Top 10 list format and for giving us an excuse for a Monday spent throwing lawn darts into the lake (that just sounds like a really relaxing way to pass the time).
Yes, Top 10 Lists are very popular, so popular in fact, that we’ve compiled more than 50 of them on this site since we started. For those of you who might’ve missed some of them, and also missed the last time we mentioned you might’ve missed some of them (this is a disturbing trend), here are some of our favorite lists we’ve put together thus far.
“Many people distrust cabbies. Luckily, in this age of GPS you have a better chance at thwarting a sudden turn onto a designated parade route. Still, digressions more tortuous than the Da Vinci Code have many opting for the bus instead.
That being said, most cabbies are honest and hard working and risk knifings from the backseat or just as scarily, projectile vomiting from there as well and are occasionally called upon to deliver babies and wipe up afterward.” [for more click here]
Weird Beer Flavors
“Previously we covered booze-flavored toothpaste, just the thing for those looking to spruce up in the morning after by brushing their teeth with something that will give them an instant and sickening reminder of the night prior. These days, there is a trend towards making alcohol-related products taste like something else – hence the rise of alcopops and various other beverages that are commonly ordered by
girl drink drunks” [for more click here]
We previously delved into the (if you’ll excuse the redundancy) world of geography with our 25 Horrible Bands Named after Places and in doing so incurred the wrath of hardcore fans of Kansas/Boston, bands we perhaps unfairly dumped on because they’re part of that most loathsome movement in music—Prog Rock. Then again, the more comments we get from people leaping to their defense, the less we regret their inclusion. [for more click here]
Ways Bangkok and Toronto are Different
As regular readers and his immediate neighbors might be aware, Shark Guy Noel makes his home in Bangkok Thailand. He’s often asked to compare Thailand with Canada, and he would rather just send along this URL the next time that question comes up [for more click here]
If you’ve just beaten an Oxycontin rap, your wife or a personal ‘Rock ‘N’ Bowl best, you’ve probably got a closet full of these suds duds already. For everyone else, here are a few beer-themed sartorial choices that you can run by the missus as she lights a Vantage Ultra Light off the propane barbecue and risks causing upwards of $1300 in property damage from the ensuing blaze. [for more click here]
For some time there has been a disconnect between TV cops and the ones everybody knew— kind of like the disconnect between June and Ward Cleaver sleeping in separate beds on Leave it to Beaver, and the kind of bedpost-grabbing boffing real-life Ward would have been administering, frustrated by that retarded pair of kids of his. The Keystone Cops in the early part of the last century brought us the image of hapless police unable to keep a good man locked up, rather than the bloodthirsty goon hired by the railroad to bash heads that would have been more accurate. [for more click here]
Ways to be Irish on St Patty’s Day
To drinkers, St. Patrick’s Day is an occasion that holds an almost religious significance. In fact, some drunk in a bar many St. Patrick’s Days ago once told us that the occasion was rooted in some sort of Catholic tradition. He described a highly improbable scenario involving snakes having infested Ireland, and a saint named Patrick coming along to drive them out like some sort of pest control superman. Being that this entire business reminded us of an awful Jon Voight serpent movie out of theaters by then that we had hoped to put out of our minds as well, we proceeded to move to the other end of the bar. [for more click here]
Chris Brown and Rihanna Duet Ideas
You may not have guessed this, but we’re the kind of guys who simply CANNOT get enough celebrity news. We were bottle-fed Mary Hart and John Tesh (his groundbreaking entertainment reportage, not his, for lack of a better word, music career). So, obviously Chris Brown and Rihanna are figures of colossal importance in our lives. [for more click here]
People who Look like the Frankenstein Monster
There are two types of people in the world: those who look like the Frankenstein monster and everyone else, (which includes those who like to make fun of people who look like the Frankenstein monster—there are others who say there are two groups of people in the world, those who divide the world into two different groups, and those who don’t, but we digress). [click here for more]
The art of actually preparing a meal has become a thing of the past. Who among us (who is not collecting on a bogus personal injury claim) has the time to seek out the various ingredients needed to prepare a proper meal, not to mention all of the digit-endangering chopping and preparation, setting and watching of timers and fine-tuning the olfactory senses to the smell of something smoking in the kitchen? [click here for more]
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