May 15, 2009 | religion

There’s something undeniably appealing about mixing the sexual with the sacred. We’re not talking here about the kind of thing that nearly bankrupted the Catholic Church, but rather why we’d guess that more nun habits are sold these days for their kink appeal than for actual use by a future Mother Superior over her inferiors.

In a new book, the first instance in a long time that Google search engines have combined ‘sex’ and ‘priest’ without ’scandal’ immediately following the former, a Polish Franciscan friar offers a theological and practical guide for bringing the Catholic faith into the boudoir (well, as practical as a guide can be doling out advice about something the author knows little about—like a cookbook authored by someone who’s never turned on a burner).

Speaking of getting turned on, you won’t with this (self deprecating?) title: “Sex as You Don’t Know It: For Married Couples who Love God,” by reverend Ksawery Knotz, a tome that seemingly has little in common with the tight-assed oppression most often associated with the Roman Catholic Church.

You’ll be relieved to know that much of the book stems not from first-hand accounts, but questions that Knotz encountered while counseling married couples—questions, it should be said, from the couples and not from the vicar himself like ‘young man, exactly what is meant by a meat missile mud bath?’

For other posts that delve into religion, please see our Top 20 Jesus Songs and Top 10 Jesus Sightings and stay tuned, as Monday we tackle— unorthodox is a nice way to put it—religious art.