May 13, 2009 | Heroes
People respond differently to natural and man-made disasters—say, refusing to attend Ghosts of Girlfriends Past screenings for the latter.
For those of the “God must’ve been angry at New Orleans” natural variety, some folks choose to hunker down, stay vigilant and throw their weight behind and on top of whatever neighbor is still defying gravity, while others find that defying death is just the moment to seduce the missus.
In a bit of inspired writing that doesn’t normally grace newspapers unless freelancers bust through union restrictions limiting their use, a scribe at the Houston Chronicle noted that there’s been “a curious bump in the number of women who are rounding out their third trimesters of pregnancy”. This two time double entendre turn of phrase is much preferable to the ‘throwing the baby out with the bath /flood waters’ that might’ve otherwise passed the tired eyes of copy editors.
Yes, it seems that doctors who work in Houston’s busiest maternity ward say they’re expecting an especially hectic June, due either to the big storm or spouses’ attempts at wresting husbands away from the onset of the NFL season.
Apparently, it’s been eight months since Ike blasted the region, knocking out electricity and leaving many with no television, Internet access or stash of pharmaceutical distractions that would otherwise pass the time.
It seems obstetrical practices like The Woman’s Hospital of Texas (word on the street has it that it’s a great place to pick up chicks) are doing double duty these days and that this baby boom could be the result of diminished pharmacy hours during which time you’d normally replenish a batch of expired condoms.
This leaves us with one inescapable conclusion: People left to their own devices, when there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do, practice unprotected sex.
As one Houstonian put it, who is much more given to cynicism than we are: “Anyone can procreate. Actually, stupidity and vanity rule in the ‘I can make a baby’ department. Oh, wow, people had sex during a hurricane, stop the presses. There was the “I need to party and screw” mentality, and there were others who got out and helped their neighbors.”
“You are like a hurricane
There’s calm in your eye.
And I’m gettin’ blown away”
Like a Hurricane, Neil Young.
It was soooo hot after Ike with no electricity that my husband and I didn’t even sleep in the same bed! I can see how people would get bored but, I just don’t know how they stood the heat.