April 14, 2009 | lists

Many people distrust cabbies. Luckily, in this age of GPS you have a better chance at thwarting a sudden turn onto a designated parade route. Still, digressions more tortuous than the Da Vinci Code have many opting for the bus instead.

That being said, most cabbies are honest and hard working and risk knifings from the backseat or just as scarily, projectile vomiting from there as well and are occasionally called upon to deliver babies and wipe up afterward.

They’ve gotta treat their rear view mirrors like solar eclipses when couples get amorous (many of whom not realizing their ‘Mile to the Gallon Club’ escapades could make a midwife of that same driver 9 months later), battle many lifetimes’ worth of stressful traffic and all for low pay, zero prestige, dangerous working conditions, customers who stiff ‘em and terrible hours. It’s like being a hooker with a glove compartment.

With all of this, not to mention fellow drivers cribbing fares that are rightfully theirs, you’ve gotta cut taxi drivers some slack if they, like an impatient barber, take a little off the top.

Here then is our tribute to the guys behind the wheel whose job it is to ferry drunks, supercilious businessmen, frugal old ladies, freeloading teens and inveterate blabbers all over our cities, but without the benefits of a fat bus driver pension—Hailing the Top 10 Taxi Driver Movies of All Time!!

10. Stripes. In our first entry, cab driver Bill Murray loses his taxi driver job, drops his food on the street, gets his car repossessed and gets dumped by his girlfriend, four more things than what happen to him during all of Lost in Translation. He then sees a recruitment ad for the Army and joins, just in case you thought this was the definitive referee movie.

[For stripes of er, another stripe, check out our Top 20 TV Cop Cliches]

9. Heavy Metal. In this animated cult classic (South Park paid tribute in Major Boobage episode), a taxi driver, Harry Canyon, makes use of a self-defense ‘disintegrator ray’, a big step-up from those protective shields for putting distance between yourself and  belligerent passengers.

8. DC Cab. In an ensemble cast that would rival the very best of Robert Altman, DC Cab features not only Gary Busey, Mr T, Paul Rodriguez and Bill Maher, but a guy who sounds like, but isn’t, a member of the Baldwin family. These were the days when Joel Schumacher films didn’t completely blow like compressed air—Lost Boys, um…this one…later, Batman & Robin put the careers of Val Kilmer, Alicia Silverstone, Chris O’Donnell and Arnold (though Jingle All the Way didn’t help the latter much) on life support and they’ve yet to recover. In this flick, a missing Stradivarius and a fat cash reward tempts a crew of misfit drivers, one of whom, a coked out frazzled Busey (art imitating life) actually sings along to one of his own recorded songs in his cab. This was back when being Gary Busey meant getting calls from Oscar winning directors instead of texts from Celebrity Rehab segment producers. The raunchy comedy was released to coincide with the popularity of T’s Clubber Lang, his appearance on Silver Spoons and his BA Baracus (that’s Bad Attitude, not Bachelor of Arts). For a guy who grew up hard in the Chicago projects, Mister T is doing well for himself as  a late night pitchman.

7. Taxi. James Cagney popularized the phrase,  “Come out and take it, you dirty, yellow-bellied rat, or I’ll give it to you through the door!” If there was cigarette smoke to be blown, a shady silhoette, a trenchoat and a fedora, JC was somewhere to be found. Amidst a backdrop of growing violence and intimidation, not unlike the parking lot of a UFC event, independent cab drivers do battle against a consolidated juggernaut, which, like most consolidated juggernauts are not to be taken lightly.

6. All or Nothing. Mike Leigh, director of the excellent and nowhere near as nudity-laden as it should’ve been, Naked, shines the spotlight on drivers here in this vaguely depressing tale, even by Leigh standards, of a working class London cabbie, Phil.

We’ve been working a double shift to bring more of our Top 10 Taxi Driver Movies.

CLICK HERE FOR THE TOP 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!