Tags: actors, celebrities, funny
April 1, 2009 | celebrities
Kid reacts unfavorably to the child-stealing duo Pitt and Jolie
In a Guardian article ‘This Time, Madonna Deserves Admiration’, the headline writer must’ve given the piece a cursory glance (who could blame ‘em?) as before the titular ‘admiration’ could be doled out, the following was:
“Madonna is a self-obsessed, ball-breaking, humourless control freak. With questionable vocal talent and dancing ability, she has bludgeoned her way to the top…”
and later…
“Her fatless, sinewy body is sad testament to her desperate clinging on to youth, and if that pointy, feline face gets any tighter it will crack. Long blonde hair at 50 is a mistake. Her habit of wearing her pre-pubescent daughter’s clothes is another; while a toyboy lover – she’s older than his mother – is positively sad.”
We too share the Guardian writer’s admiration for Madonna and could easily fill one-third of a Twitter entry expressing it, however we held back, noting this jarring line from the same piece:
“She simply doesn’t deserve the abuse being heaped upon her.”
Looks like someone at the Guardian believes otherwise, at least the same someone responsible for editing and writing headlines.
AJ scopes out your children
This high profile beat-down / defense comes amid criticism that stars are asking that question that comes up whenever city hall palms need a-greasin’ (say for an elaborate home reno), ‘Who should I make the check out to? This as they attempt to flout foreign laws expedite the adoption process in places that normally don’t get much press coverage unless faux London-inflected, fibrous, leather-visaged tranny divas (take that Guardian!!) happen by.
By sheer coincidence, Hollywood’s other Adopto-mom and soon-to-be dinnertime head-count rival to Octomom, Angelina Jolie is in the news again (and by ‘in the news’ we mean the subject of innuendo in the pages of The Sun, whose print version is best known for protecting hardwood floors from flecks of paint). Yes, the Mr. and Mrs Smith star [Crappy film we saw on a plane. Please see our list of Top 10 Actors Whose Crappy Movies Are Always Shown on Planes] seems keen on separating the world’s orphans from the world’s Fagins like MMA referees shoving combatants into neutral corners.
Apparently, according to one of the Slumdog Millionaire young’uns, Angelina expressed a desire to cast extras for the Pitt / Jolie household by adopting some Indian street-kids, but we’ll wait for the carefully air-brushed P & J account of things, which will no doubt emerge once Jolie solves the political crisis in Gaza.
We say this, as according to a New York Times piece, Jolie’s image is meticulously crafted, despite her steadfast insistence it isn’t. The NY Times reported that in exchange for granting baby photo exclusivity to the publication of record for the ‘5 items or less’ checkout line, People Magazine, Brangelina exerted Pravda-like influence in terms of positively spinning the accompanying article (also, the dour duo allegedly put their foot down when it came to the Brangelina portmanteau) This claim was vigorously disputed by the ShamWow of entertainment rags:
“Like any news organization [Editor's bellylaugh-filled note: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA] People does purchase photos, but the magazine does not determine editorial content based on the demands of outside parties.”
We shall keep everyone posted on new developments.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
and uh, just by-the-by… apparently Fergie (the duchess of peas, not the Duchess of York) is also looking to add to her brood via adoption… that should be entertaining.
Angelina would have a LOT more of my children if she could kust stop swallowing them en route!