February 23, 2009 | Mad Science
Shark attacks are down (click here for story). This revelation comes to us from the University of Florida. (Note: If you are a citizen of Florida and your high school aged child displays a talent for the sciences, may we suggest somewhere out of state?) The Florida researchers blame this trend on the economic downturn. Now they’re not saying the sharks themselves are depressed about how much further they could stretch a dollar back before the bubble burst and now are stuck in such a funk they no longer see the fun in feasting on the fleshy, speedo-wearing tourists who ignore clearly posted danger warnings on the beach.
They suggest fewer people go to the beach during tough economic times and — in a conclusion that no doubt will hearten anyone who has ever pointed out how much money is wasted on useless and obvious research studies — that fewer people at the beach means fewer shark attacks.
We also have a hypothesis on how fewer cars on the roads results in fewer traffic fatalities, but we’re waiting on federal grant money before drawing any definitive conclusions.
The scientists say that shark attacks in the US plunged — like a shark going to the ocean bottom to finish off that final piece of surfer ass — from 71 in 2007 to 59 last year. People worried about such things as how they’ll afford to maintain an indoor residence when their investments have suddenly become worthless and most members of their board of directors are now off somewhere with lax extradition laws apparently do not feel the desire to go to the beach. (And that presumably means on days when pollution levels are such that you wouldn’t end up walking away with a rash and smelling like the local water treatment plant).There were thus fewer people for sharks to chomp on.
We have already blogged about a report on how infidelity rates fall when times are tough economically (click here for that) and no doubt the rest of this year will be full of junk science stories linking your sinking bank balance with any wildly tangential change in anything whatsoever.
Still it will take something truly stunning to top this one when we compile our next yearly Top Moments in Junk Science list. (Click here for 2008’s Top 5 Moments in Junk Science).
Why do sharks bite people.. is it because they cant find anything else to bite ir chew on. If sharks didnt bite people at all would you be surprised or not. Why do sword fish look like they do because its weird the way they are formed and shaped. Is the great white shark really the dangerous. What do you have to do to become the person that kills shark or find them then kills them. Write back????