January 8, 2009 | Mad Science,lists
For those of you new to the site, The Shark Guys are like the Dr Sanjay Gupta of the net (albeit with 8 years less medical training and not bankrolled by Ted Turner–though if he wants to talk he can contact our publicist) and we’ve made it our mission, like those Apollo ones that didn’t fail, to keep you posted on all the goings-on in the magical world of science.
In our Mad Science section, we’ve kept our loyal readers abreast of key developments in the sphere of applied research, such as the Rocket Pack Portable Beer Cooler, Mr T’s Flavor Wave Turbo as well as plenty of other discoveries and advancements that have kept us First World types so far ahead of everyone else.
Before we count down the very worst Junk Science we’ve covered from the previous year though, we thought we’d begin with a brief primer on how the science journalism news cycle works:
1. University/drug company sends out press release to media
2. Media distributes press release to the public (after it’s edited for spelling and grammar).
So, prepare to sit back, feel smugly superior, think to yourself, ‘I’m glad I spent my student loan money on beer’, and enjoy our Top 5 Moments in Junk Science from 2008.
5. Being Drunk Makes People Around you Appear More Attractive. Researchers gave both a lime-flavored alcoholic drink and a similarly flavored non-alcoholic drink to 84 university students, who may or may not have shown up solely because they heard word that an egghead was giving out free booze. They were told to drink what was given to them and then shown pictures of people their own age once they were finished. [CLICK HERE FOR MORE] 
4. Bullies Derive Pleasure from Bullying. Presumably not wanting to pollute their results with an over-large sample, scientists rounded up eight teens between 16-18 years old with a history of being the school asshole and eight others with no such tendencies — those recovering from the wedgies doled out by the first group as it were. [CLICK HERE FOR MORE]
3. People with Less Steady Work have More Health Problems. A study, right out of our own home town no less, concluded after more chins stroked than a Hemingway look-alike contest that “job insecurity can lead to anxiety and depression, which can then cause cardiovascular and other physical ailments”. Another conclusion reached that’ll curdle milk and set off the gongs on grandfather clocks within a ten-mile radius is that “Lower-status, non-permanent jobs expose employees to hazardous work conditions more often than permanent jobs of higher status.” [CLICK HERE FOR MORE] 
2. Loud Music in Bars Linked to Increase Alcoholic Consumption. Over the course of three weekends French researchers were able to marry work and pleasure by frittering away grant money on what is patently obvious to anyone who’s ever sidled up to a bar and thought to themselves, ‘you know what? this place would be a hell of a lot more fun if there was a live band, or at the very least, a stereo’. [CLICK HERE FOR MORE]
1. Racial Bias Exists in the Virtual World. Virtual worlds like Second Life came with the promise that all of the limitations of this terrestrial sphere would vanish. Sickly hermits desperately in need of the sun’s rays could live their second and better lives in peace and adapt an avatar that reflected the extent of their own imaginations. The ugly could be good looking, and a cyber-race of hobgoblins could lie down in unity with virtual unicorns… or something like that. But that’s not exactly how it’s turned out. Researchers conducted a “door-in-the-face” (DITF) experiment, which surprisingly has nothing to do with the treatment we like to give those guys who want to fix the rate on your gas bill for the next 11 millenniums and found the following: [FOR MORE CLICK HERE]
Stay tuned, as we bring you the best and worst white coat moments for the coming year.
This is my first time here, but any blog that has Science and Al Swearengen on the same page gets a profound nod of approval.
Great work.
Thanks Dan!
But are you as sinister as Dan Dority?