November 25, 2008
He's the greatest, folks, along with that old boxer guy
Axl Rose sounds like Edith Bunker of All in the Family set on fire and as a result, what is essentially a solo effort from him would be less anticipated than one by any other member of the band save for drummer Steven Adler, whose only contribution to the music business these days, is punching holes in recording studio glass as the star of Celebrity Rehab.
Still, there’s no denying Chinese Democracy is a Guns ‘n’ Roses album, even if it’s only because of the dropping of numerous band name-related lawsuits.
Here’s are a few admissions of personal bias: I like to shoot loaded rifles off my 9th floor balcony and also happen to think Appetite for Destruction ranks as one of the finest albums ever made, up there with Sticky Fingers, Lou Reed’s Transformer, Blood on the Tracks, and Neil Young’s After the Goldrush, and I discovered GNR as a kid, reading some crummy black & white heavy metal mag, before the album came out. Also, apropos of nothing really, I’m a classically trained oboe player, one of the few instruments Axl doesn’t use on the newly released C.D.
So with so much hype to live up to, and Axl setting himself for much public scrutiny and so soon after the Southpark-inspired Kick a Ginger Day, we ask the question that is escaping everyone’s lips these days: Is Chinese Democracy worthy of a 1-2 hour (depending on your bandwidth) download? [Editor’s note: Nobody should steal music unless it’s released by an artist who’s established] Let’s all gather ’round and find out shall we?
1. Chinese Democracy. Lead off track currently compromising office productivity worldwide on Myspace, teases the listener with a slow windup, then muted arpeggios leading into a power chord riff that sounds like a Protools version of ‘Owner of a Lonely Heart,’ a patented Axl scream and “No it don’t really matter, gonna leave this thing to somebody else”. This ‘somebody else’, includes more guitar players than a pawnshop on a Sunday morning, listed on the album credits. Good start: a rumbling, rocking track. He also sings, “All I’ve got, is precious time”, fitting as this album took longer to put out than it did the Berlin Wall to fall. ***
2. Shackler’s Revenge. Killer industrial sludge riff gives way to lame verse, cool chug-chug pre-chorus and sing along chorus. So far so good, though we have no idea who Shackler is, even after putting out a call to Stifler’s mom. Some 80s style guitar shredding will surely make orifices bleed, most notably, the ears. ***
3. Better. Processed vocals, drum machine leads to funky, laid back, quasi disco groove. “This melody inside of me still searchin’ for solution”. Indeed. **1/2
4. Streets of Dreams. Rose’s Elton John aspirations get a work out here. It’s these same aspirations, along with being a total asshole, which alienated the rest of the original band. This sounds like Journey, which alienates everyone else.
Chinese Democracy’s version of ‘Yesterday’ (The Gunners’ one, not the Beatles) **
5. If the World. Tightly plucked Spanish guitar and asymmetrical piano leads to a strutting intro that would make Curtis Mayfield proud. He would’ve said, ‘damn, that iron-deficient ginger ghost be funky’. Would make a great intro to Truck Turner or Sweet Sweetback´s Badasssss Song. Behind the screeching, Axl has some diverse influences and is one talented mo-fo.
6. There was a Time. “Broken glass and cigarettes, the writing on the wall”. Interesting. A level of melodic complexity that one wouldn’t expect. Will need repeated listens to sink in, like OJ’s alibis to his defence lawyers. Beautiful slide guitar solo. ***
7. Catcher in the Rye. The book that is forced upon high school kids. In the hair band heyday, the token ballad was forced upon hard rock aficionados. Harmonious ballad that is just crying out for the band’s original line-up for that rhythmic crunch. **1/2
8. Scraped. Multi-tracked Axl harmonizes with self (illegal in 23 states). Forgettable riff follows. Title refers to the bottom of that barrel.
*1/2
9. Sorry. A thickly atmospheric introductory nod to Pink Floyd with delicately picked acoustic guitar lines. “You sold your soul but I won’t let you win”. Good line, but a plodding chorus goes nowhere. **
10. Riad n’ the Bedouins. Headband was tied too tight for this. Perhaps inspired by a trip to Yemen to replenish his supply of bandannas. Riff would’ve been done by Aerosmith had they given up drugs during their heyday. [Click here for the Top 10 Cocaine Songs of All Time]
*1/2
11. I.R.S. Weird, Foreigner-inspired lead guitar break. Inexplicably cool. Good tempo changes. “Gonna make this a federal case.” An almost Pat Metheny like guitar break later on. Quirky, catchy and great.***
12. Madagascar. Scratchy voiced melody. Extraordinarily self-indulgent. Not really worth a second listen or a first. The band Diemonds, who recently got some exposure in LA, recorded a great song that GNR should’ve written, click here.
**
13. This I Love. Great vocal form Mr William Bruce Rose. Queen-influenced, will not come across well in performance with Rose’s erratic persona and propensity to inspire whole scale riots live. Band should reform so Slash can exert weight bearing pressure on a grand piano for one of his patented solos. Cool. ***
14. Prostitute. “Please be kind, I’ve done all I should”. Sure. **1/2
All in all, surprisingly good, but not worth the interminable wait. ***
Mr. Lombardo studied oboe at the Royal Conservatory of Music in Toronto, which makes him eminently qualified to review albums by 70s rock and early-punk inspired bands from the Sunset Strip. After failing to land the girls with the king of the woodwinds, he switched to jazz/classical guitar, which he’s played for 17 years.
December 2nd, 2008 at 3:09 am
Truly awesome……music i never want to miss