October 23, 2008
In a previous post, we noted that you could not put a price on freedom, until that is, we came upon the Excused Absence Network, a service, which for a nominal fee, provided alibis for workplace chiselers and swindlers. However, their website has since gone bust, no doubt owing to the fact that job-seekers would be circumspect about listing the ‘Excused Absence Network’ as a previous employer and perhaps the company’s generous compensation packages designed to thwart excused absences. [Editor's note: The Alibi Network is still in business and will provide you with a city of your choice to appear on your cuckolded spouse's caller ID, as well as a 24-hour hotel desk for that 'Frankfurt business trip'--hopefully staffed by someone who didn't hone their Teutonic accent by watching the stage version of The Producers]
If you have managed to snag a day off, say by bringing back SARS, throwing your back out or citing some nebulous ‘personal problems’ that your boss is willing to concede to you for fear you might one day shoot up your place of work, it’s best to steer clear of ‘man on the street’ interviews, televised sporting events and especially Facebook.
A Sydney Australia call center worker (a job that incidentally, one of us had ample experience with and would not be averse to citing an illness of the more terminal variety to get out of it) took a day off from no doubt selling time shares to a town that washed away during Hurricane Gustav, citing ‘medical reasons’.
Unfortunately, this latter day Ferris Bueller didn’t exactly grab the bull by the horns during his day of freedom but hit Facebook and updated his status to the incriminating “Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f*ck it I’m still trashed. SICKIE WOO!” (his caps) 
His day began to unravel when someone in HR began asking him for a medical certificate [Editor's note: For one day off? He really did work for a call center] and sensing something was amiss, investigated further and caught Mr Doyle in flagrante delicto, via Facebook screen shot. [Very Busy Editor's Note: Check those Facebook privacy settings!]
The guy’s response, leading us to conclude that his vocational prospects lay elsewhere, was ‘HAHAHA LMAO. Epic fail…No worries man!’
For those of you who’ve made it this far and who might empathize with Mr Doyle’s quagmire check out our Top 20 Songs About Work (and How Crappy it is)
