September 17, 2008 | Mad Science

Mathematicians would like you to believe there is a hierarchy in the sciences, with them at the top. They would also like you to believe that two parallel lines eventually meet in a point at infinity, the justification for which is very clever indeed as they are very clever people and clever enough to put themselves at the top of a hierarchy of their own design .

Second on the list is physics as you can’t have physics without math, followed by chemistry, which you cannot have without the principles of physics, then biology, which requires chemistry and physics. If you don’t get the idea by now, none of these disciplines, unfortunately, will be your calling and perhaps the local police college, or selling Florida swamp time shares, is a better vocational option.

Further down this hierarchy, which you can imagine by kicking a small stone of the edge of the Grand Canyon and seeing where it lands (or calculating its trajectory, using the principles of physics), is sociology, or, as one wag I went to high school put it as we were discussing possible college majors “the study of the obvious”.

One such study, right out of our own home town no less, concluded after more chins stroked than a Hemingway look-alike contest that “job insecurity can lead to anxiety and depression, which can then cause cardiovascular and other physical ailments”. Another conclusion reached that’ll curdle milk and set off the gongs on grandfather clocks within a ten-mile radius is that “Lower-status, non-permanent jobs expose employees to hazardous work conditions more often than permanent jobs of higher status.”

With such heady data at one’s disposal, this is high time, hot on the heels of Labor Day (for those of you interested in humming along to the Best Work Songs click here) to march into the boss’ office and make a pitch for a few extra shekels and if that fails, make the fall season live up to its name and see if you can throw your back out and claim disability.