Tags: DVD review, movie reviews, reviews, Woody Allen
September 5, 2008 | reviews
Shark Bite Review: Vicky Cristina Barcelona **½ / 5
Those of you looking for the old Woody Allen will find an old Woody Allen
Uprooting from the Five Boroughs overseas, far from giving him a creative spark he so likely sought, finds Allen revisiting past themes with decidedly mixed results.
With Match Point, it was infidelity and murder again, without the comedy and gravitas of Crimes and Misdemeanors while Cassandra’s Dream, similarly explored fraternal relations set against the backdrop of a murder-for-hire. This time, a trek to continental Europe sees infidelity the theme again, though without conspiracy to commit murder, unless you count this reviewer’s criminal intent toward the cast.
Spain is the setting for this recent Allen misfire, an Italian-made rifle aimed from a grassy knoll misfire, with current muse the vacant Scarlett Johnansson as the eponymous Cristina, on a care-free trip to Spain with friend Vicky (Rebecca Hall) whose cares are much less free—trying to remain faithful to a stockbroker New York city fiancé who is duller than a PBS pledge drive, while she secretly yearns to be a free spirit like her friend. Cristina is a wanna-be actress and in this instance the casting of Johansson is spot-on, while Vicky is a verbose grad student consumed with Catalan culture.
As flamenco guitar strings are plucked in the background, the two become infatuated with a tormented, passionate artist, Juan Antonio, played by Javier Bardem, who’s been involved in a violent relationship with ex, Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz)—a key point touched upon briefly and then abandoned—as the two girls accept an offer to join him for a weekend getaway upon first meeting at a restaurant (and aren’t put off by his offer of a threesome, casually brought up in their first conservation before he’d even sat down to join them for drinks).
Generally, an offer of this sort from an abusive creep would have the waiter calling for the prep cooks to toss the guy out on his ear; but not here as Vicky, (the grad student who should know better and knows it), abandoning thoughts of her guy back home, is sweet talked by his brush strokes, while Cristina, who was much more receptive to his backward advances, is laid up with food poisoning. Not telling Cristina about how she slept with a guy she was really interested in (or as it’s known in male circles, mowing your buddy’s grass) and gradually having second thoughts about her pending nuptials, even as the dull as dishwater hubby-to-be flies to Spain–are the twin duplicities Allen works with here, with minimal comic/dramatic impact (unless you count the audience tittering at the sweatered, braggart bore that is the fiancé, or the ridiculous and obvious voice-overs: ‘The two walked the streets of Barcelona, enjoying the works of Gaudi’)
Vardem’s tortured artist, assured there’s a walk-in clinic nearby, then beds Cristina, though not at the same time as initially intended—and after co-habitating with her, a suicide attempt by the ex-wife,brings Cruz’ Maria Elena into the picture: and not a moment too soon as Cruz injects some much need passion.
Artist Juan Antonio apparently cannot abandon feelings for his ex-wife and suggests that she stays with the new couple until she recuperates—just like it would happen in real life. [Editor's note: it's at this point where an entirely un-erotic, nudity-free triad is hinted at, and Cruz and Johansson exchange dark room smooches]
Cruz, a fellow artist, naturally, as Allen has been incapable lately, of portraying people with average occupations, looks gorgeous, yells a lot in Spanish, gets yelled at repeatedly in return for not speaking English in the presence of Cristina and argues with him about who stole whose artistic vision, as a gun goes off, attempted seductions take place and a few choice zingers are uttered.
A tortured artist, a garrulous grad student, a would-be actress who couldn’t cut it in a 12-minute student film (played by Johansson who can’t cut it in any 90 minute feature) and another tortured artist, get mixed up in something that they thought would offer fulfillment but ultimately leaves them wanting more. Exactly.
I think your photo offers a couple of reasons why Ms Johansson doesn’t need to be able to act.
This sounds awful. I wasn’t interested in seeing Scarlett Johnansson in a Woody Allen movie after Scoop.
“Anything Else,” with Christina Ricci has to be one of Woody Allen’s most underrated recent movies. Some really good writing in there, but it was surprisingly lumped in with movies like Scoop and this.
Well, we can hope for better things with the upcoming Woody Allen movie that’ll star Larry David. Can’t go wrong there.
Barcelona, wednesday february 18th…
I am thrilled to read your review of Cristina…I’ve been a fan of Woody Allen since day one…as a stand up, actor and director. He is one of the reasons I winded up working in films. I moved to Barcelona 10 years ago, and was thrilled to hear Mr Allen was coming here to shoot. I was a lot less thrilled when the city of Barcelona gave him one million €. I started getting suspicious when I read the first script….Bardem was to be a bullfighter no less. There was also pressure from the city to portrait Bardem as anything but a bullfighter.So Allen bowed to the pressure. But I was completed put off when I saw the finished product….it sounds like Allen made a Guide to all the cliches in this city. What is worse is all the praise it got.
LN