Beer Acronyms: What PBR REALLY Stands for: "Pretty bad refreshment"

What kind of beer do you like to drink, neighbor?
Heineken.
Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

Blue Velvet (1989)

Tastes and preferences are often established early in life, and an aversion to say, the music of Celine Dion or Jimmy Buffet likely forms somewhere during the third trimester.

There are those whose first exposure to beer, sadly, occurs around this period as well (and who are then predisposed to voting Republican) but for most of us, the first time a cold one hits the taste-buds, is by surreptitious sip of the old man's
Amstel Light during a half-time bathroom break to walk the dog.

For others, it's shaking down the basement sofa for enough loose change to procure a bottle of the cheapest and most easily accessible hooch. The first beer beverage purchased, usually by an older brother, or the guy who sported a 5 O'Clock shadow at age of 14 and whose fettuccine arms could be hidden with several sweaters and an overcoat, is some mass-market swill with an advertising budget that exceeds the GDP of the entire Caribbean.

In Canada, it's the ubiquitous Molson Canadian, synonymous with hockey (or 'ice hockey' as it's referred to in the States to differentiate it from, I don't know, tonsil hockey), the music of Bachman Turner Overdrive and that uncle who spends the better part of the afternoon in a hammock, awaking periodically to get you to fetch him one.

The equivalent state-side is Coors, and it's no coincidence that these are brewed by the same manufacturer, and that they likely come from the same giant kettle as well and just have a Molson label slapped on for export north of the border.

Mediocre brews such as Budweiser, Miller or Molson are usually abandoned once a level of disposable income is reached to be able to absorb the extra $3 forked over for something premium, or during those college years, in exchange for skipping a few meals.

Interestingly, defenders of the swill are trying to block the takeover of The King of Beers by Belgian monolith Inbev. According to reports, last night more than 27,000 had heeded the call, signing an online petition to stop the takeover of the brewer of Budweiser.

Pabst Blue Ribbon is inexplicably popular too, perhaps solely for the ease with which a can of it is stuffed into a freezer so it can be chilled within minutes on a hot day, or perhaps because of its 'slumming it' hipster cache.

Anyway, here are three beers from our youth, Miller Genuine Draft (MGD), Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) and Bud, and what these really stand for. Thanks to our good buddies over at College Drinker for the idea...

MGD
Mediocre, god-awful drink
Maligned ginger-beer doppelganger
Mostly generic disappointment
Must be gluttonous dipsomaniac
Mild, gaseous, dismal

BUD
Beastly Undrinkable Drek
Basically Unfortunate Drink
Beer Under-agers Drink
Brew Unquestionably Dreadful
Base Ubiquitous Disgrace
Bubbly Urine-like Draft

PBR
Pretty bad refreshment
Possibly beer refuse
Potential brew rejected
Promoted by rabble
Prohibited by rarefied
Positively below rank
Patently banal rubbish