January 31, 2008
Call it ‘low talker’ versus ’slow talker’. Tranny-voiced has-been Kathleen Turner has apparently got actor Nicolas Cage, (who speaks slower than a phone sex operator with a thyroid condition), in her cross hairs.
“That stupid voice of his and the fake teeth! Honestly, I cringe to think about it. He caused so many problems.”
Such invectives could just as easily be tossed Paul Anka’s way, but it’s ‘problem-generator’ Cage who doesn’t come off too ‘Super’ in Turner’s forthcoming autobiography, ‘Send Yourself Roses’, which also notes, while we’re on the subject of physical appearance, teeth, etc:
“I was no great beauty. I was a skinny woman with long legs, almost no boobs, good hair and bad teeth . . . the studio had a fake cover made for them, which was awkward. It changed my lips and the way I spoke. It was uncomfortable, too.”
In the soon-to-be-released tome, (which has nothing whatsoever to do with ‘View’ drunkard and War of the Roses co-star Danny Devito despite its similarly efflorescent title), Turner refers to working with Burt Reynolds as ‘nasty’ and she even accuses the aforementioned (and fellow hairpiece aficionado) Nicolas Cage of being in trouble with the law, and being arrested twice for drunk driving. And now, it seems, Mr cage is taking the matter to the courts.
Turner herself admits a fondness for the drink, and admits to using it to dull the pain of arthritis, which in retrospect was probably a better treatment option than Vioxx.
“I discovered that vodka killed it quite wonderfully. I didn’t want to take painkillers because I didn’t like the way they mucked up my mind, so I used alcohol instead”, notes the star of Body Heat and Baby Geniuses.
We Shark Guys have covered comparably asymmetric celebrity squabbles here (no lawsuits yet) while Cage and Clooney’s status is without question A-level, the jury’s out as to whether a more powerful telescope is required to detect either a Turner or a Fabio’s star power, at least until the Italian loses and/or cuts his locks or the former stops appearing nude on stage and getting sued by Supermen.
Posted by thesharkguys @ 10:00 am
January 28th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Damn, I was going to write a comment about what an excellent job Kathleen Turner did in ‘Barfly’, only to be utterly outdone by the fact that nice legs in said movie were provided by Faye Dunaway.
I’m at a loss now for a comment to make.
I’m impressed you guys read Kathleen’s Turner autobiography. To paraphrase the late, great Phil Hartman in probably one of his worst sketches, It sounds sassy.
Sincerely,
Bosephus
January 28th, 2008 at 10:23 am
This is true…the movie with many memorable lines including:
“I think the last time you’ve ever paid for a drink is the first time,” and “my guts need fuel”.
Turner commenting about someone else’s voice is a little rich given it’s what, for better or worse, both are known for.
January 28th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Oh, we haven’t yet read her book as one of us is currently navigating their way through The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star, by Motley Crue bassist Nikki Sixx…