January 14, 2008
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We Shark Guys hold two Canadian passports, which we’d be more than willing to part with if the right offer came along. Of course we kid and proudly fly the flag wherever we go, expressing our patriotism through the most underhanded of means—on the backpacks of our seeing stars and stripes comrades to the south to tourist hot-spots around the globe.
In addition to these important documents, (for which official photos now require that the applicant no longer smile, somewhat undermining our outwardly friendly and polite, if dull global image) we also hold two bus passes. Though only one of us resides in Toronto year round, (while the other stops by occasionally for an orthotic in-sole fitting, or to load up on airport souvenirs), we’re both familiar with hopping a turnsti, er, paying full fare and experiencing those heady subterranean smells or brushing elbows with the great unwashed on a bus.
The Toronto Transit Commission, or TTC, which as youngsters we dubbed ‘Take the Car’, is responsible for ferrying around a million or so residents daily by subway or bus who cannot afford cars, all over the fair city, minimizing gridlock and ensuring that we do our part for Al Gore.
‘Drunk Bus Fight on the Vomit Comet’ (shown here) is pretty self-explanatory if you possess basic reading and comprehension skills and is one of a slew of videos showcasing the worst public transit has to offer, a cautionary tale of what happens when a surfeit of stinking drunk passengers is squeezed into a tight, enclosed space and why the authors, funds permitting, will hop in a cab and risk depositing an all day Mexican breakfast repast in the backseat.
In boxing parlance, a fight that takes place ‘in a phone booth’ (for younger readers, a box that used to enclose a phone attached to the ground) is one in which the combatants (as seen here) wail away on one another in the tightest of confines, with no room for movement and little or no fancy footwork. Though not exactly conjuring up the ‘Louisville Lip’, Ali in his prime (or even Will Smith’s punch drunk mimicry in the eponymous film), the fellow with his back to the camera undermining our national reputation as peacekeepers and not heeding his girlfriend’s piercing screams, seems to be getting the better of the two combatants down below.
