In case any of our loyal readership question our ‘festive boozing consultant’ credentials, we’ve decided to cobble together a few helpful quotes at the last minute to meet our blogging deadline, while at the same time honor our steadfast commitment to service journalism, AKA ‘news you can use’, or as is the case this evening, ‘news you can use the next day as you open an otherwise empty fridge and consider downing a can of questionable looking tomato juice’.

Courtesy of The National Post
According to online analysts, the number of Internet videos of inebriated people embarrassing themselves has tripled in the last year. Viralvideochart.com reports that more than 150,600 clips of drunken debauchery were uploaded to the top 10 video-sharing websites in 2006, with Google searches and blog posts on the subject doubling.

“It’s oddly comforting to know that regardless of what you may have done, or how bad a night you’ve had, you didn’t do what these people did,” says Noel Boivin, a Canadian expert on alcohol-fueled misbehavior.
“Before all this [online video] stuff happened, you could have a crazy night and the worst that could happen was having your friends recount it forever,” says Boivin. “But with YouTube, [the incident] could appear online that same night, with thousands of people seeing it. It increases the threshold of shame.”

Slice Magazine
While Lombardo and Boivin point out that abstaining is the only guaranteed method of preventing a hangover, they’re still crossing their fingers for a cure. “Though we’re not doctors, we imagine (and strongly hope) that our good friends at Pfizer, Eli Lilly, and company are putting their best minds to work in finding a hangover cure that is not some sort of patent medicine scam.”
“If you find yourself on the verge of kneeling before the porcelain throne, Lombardo and Boivin have only one suggestion: “Clutching your pillow and praying to the nearest and most sympathetic god (or, if you’re an atheist, a general cry for pity sent out to the cosmos—or your spouse—will do) is really the only course of action. Lie horizontally for as long as the human bladder will allow.”

Advice in the Toronto Star (Lombardo)
Some people call New Year’s “amateur night” because people who don’t do it regularly are more apt to publicly shame themselves. Definitely, a big greasy meal at the end of the night is good, at one of the downtown establishments that are open all night. Maybe a handful of multivitamins before bed and some ibuprofen and some V8. That works.