December 24, 2007
We were initially delighted when the phrase “Swedish prison” came across the news wires, given the vast storehouse of research material at our disposal— shop keeps who archive a Smithsonian-like collection of similarly themed films, as well as a steady inventory of single cigarettes so we could get a sense of what prison life is all about without all those communal shower come ons.
According to reports, Swedish inmates have been banned from putting their kitchen detail/extortion savings (that would otherwise be put toward shanking the least popular guard), toward the purchase of holiday boxed chocolates amid concerns over alcohol content. This measure resulted in the warden-undermining spokesperson for Kraft Foods, the provider of the crowbar motel confectionery to note, “In order to consume the equivalent of one shot of schnapps, you have to eat some 32 pieces of confectionery. Gosh, what effort.” No less effort than what cell block 2D’s finest distiller of Ziploc hooch has to expend, who could certainly make good use of such a sweetener to take the toxic edge off the soggy bread and rotten fruit whiff of ‘Orange Jack.’
In related news, a California school district suspended a 12-year-old for having a piece of chocolate candy filled with a half-ounce of booze. The 7th grade scofflaw received a suspension notice that would not look out of place in the type of institution mentioned above, for having “possession, used, sold, furnished or been under the influence of any controlled substance, alcohol or intoxicant.”
December 25th, 2007 at 2:41 am
Just stopping by to wish you a Merry Christmas. So, Merry Christmas!
December 25th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Thanks Diesel…Merry Christmas back at ya…
Wassail, wassail, all over the town…Our cup ’tis white and our ale ’tis brown….