November 9, 2007
As our devoted readership may have noticed during down time between scheduled Thorazine dosages, we Shark Guys are very reluctant to comment on celebrity transgressions — mainly because we hope to one day run in those circles and don’t want future champagne and orange juice breakfasts ruined by tension resulting from a post here — but since neither of us had heard of Shia LaBeouf (which sounds like a ‘Bichon Frise’ that would leave tiny clumps of poop in some of the finer manicured parkettes in Manhattan’s Upper East Side, or a lip-synching drag act in the outer suburbs of Marseilles) we figured he/she/it was fair game.
Due to the fact that we’re a good 2o or so years removed from sitting cross-legged on the living room floor and having our GI Joes violate Geneva Conventions with our sisters’ Army Brat edition Barbies, neither of us had seen the Transformers movie, but upon cross-referencing of numerous Google sources it appears he was in it.
Since neither of us wakes up during daylight hours, we were also unable to confirm or deny (we’d grown weary of cross-referencing Google sources at this point) whether he’d won a Daytime Emmy Award either.
Be that as it may, Shia has somehow found himself on our boozing radar, the coordinates of which are typically more fine tuned and for which we likely now have to call a repairman. Regardless, the star of Surf’s Up and the latest Indiana Jones installment was recently arrested for allegedly drunken disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing in the wee hours of the early morning, wandering around a Chicago chain drug store, and while we can appreciate the need to pick up some domes and perhaps a sugary late night snack for a lady friend at such an unorthodox hour, testing the wild-eyed, insomnious patience of a security guard with a billy club isn’t advisable, especially without greater star recognition.
Speaking of which, Rebecca DeMornay, appropriately enough the star of Risky Business (whose tastes in men ranges from the ridiculous to the sublime–Tom Cruise and Leonard Cohen, respectively) was recently busted for a DUI in Beverly Hills.
The Shark Guys
